SexyPrime, a blog by Susan Crain Bakos

THE RETURN OF GREEN PORNO, Or, What's Not To Like About Isabella Rossellini Surrounded By Six Foot Paper Penises?

"Green Porno" starring Isabella Rossellini returns to the SundanceChannel.com on April 1st.

 

I never had any interest in the details of earthworm (or fly or snail or whatever) copulation until Isabella dressed up in costumes and demonstrated.  A highlight of the forthcoming second season:  Surrounded by 22 paper penises,ranging up to six feet in length, she reads her own poem, a Darwinian ode to the animal vagina.

 

An excerpt:

 

"...Different penises

"All trying to get as close as possible to my eggs.

"I will develop a tunnel and it will be a labyrinth.

"It will be species-specific

"So I am not screwed by a bear..."

 

You don't want to miss that.

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime 

WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?: Part One

 

 

Photo Credit:  "Woman in Rose" by Konstantinos on Photobucket

 

Rummaging through her bag, I find a black silk scarf and another set of stockings.  I walk over to the bed, and blindfold her.  I loosely tie each one around her wrist and then fasten the other ends to the corners of the bed.  "Raise your ass."  She pulls up her knees, bringing her beautiful butt up, while simultaneously curving the small of her back downward.  In the world of yoga, this is known as "The Cat."  This gives me a perfect view of her swollen labia, just beginning to open like the petals of a flower, showing a hint of the gathering moisture.  Her anus is exposed, slightly contracting.

Giving her bottom a few quick slaps - nothing too hard, but enough to redden them slightly – she gasps.  I let my hands linger on her flesh, gently caressing/kneading.

That is an excerpt from an ongoing email dialogue with a very special man.  A professional colleague, he is someone I've known for a long time, found attractive--but put into the "can't go there" category for a variety of reasons, including:  I know his wife.  I never let myself desire him.  Until recently, when he initiated the erotic story--He writes a scene; I write a scene--I had not recognized how much he had aroused me in past encounters, like our proper business lunches.  

Now I read his words and they trigger that arousal.  My pulse beats faster; and I feel that quiver in my pussy, long suppressed.

Which comes first, desire or arousal?

You probably think the answer is:  Desire.  Ah, but no, it is Arousal.  (Masters and Johnson and Helen Singer Kaplan had it wrong.)  If we don't believe that desire is the beginning, then we confuse the two. Adding to the confusion, women suppress arousal and murmur, "I have no desire."

The cover of The New York Times Magazine, Sunday January 23, 2009, asked "What Is Female Desire?"  Inside, the cover story, "What Do Women Want?"  by Daniel Bergner, reports on current research on female desire.  (I reported on most of this material in The Sex Bible for Women!)  Yes, it is a fascinating subject.  

There are many theories on female desire--and I want to talk about them in subsequent posts.  (This is as good a subject as:  What Happened To Male Sexuality?)

But what interests me immediately today is that female desire paradox:  How and why we override our body's sex signals with negative messages from our brains.

Bergner quotes Dr. Meredith Chivers on her studies showing that women (connected to sensors) watching erotic films ARE aroused even when they say they are not.  Women, in fact, are aroused by more varied forms of visual stimuli than men are.  A gay man responds to gay sex; and a straight man to straight sex--or two women.  Women, however, get aroused by all of it, yet claim we do not.

"...mind and genitals seem scarcely to belong to the same person," Bergner says.

Yes.  That explains in part why the question, "What does a woman want?" is so hard to answer.

I wish I had closed my eyes and paid attention to what my body was telling me about this man when we were in the same room together.  Now he is across the world.  I read his words and know I wanted him then--and want him now.

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime 

Love The One You're With When You're Alone

Photo Credit:  Flower by Keefer on Photobucket 

You know that old maxim:  If you don't love yourself, who will love you?  Put a sexual spin on it.

Buy a vibrator (or a new vibe, if you already have one or more) and give yourself some pleasure.  Vibrators run the gamut from the traditional like the big, powerful Hitachi to the Talking Heax, a rabbit that talks and plays music.  Go to Babeland and revel in the choices.  (Bet you can't buy just one.)  In the weeks ahead, I'll give you specific tips for using different vibes.

Women got great vibes out of the internet sex revolution (while men just got raunchier porn), but, according to the statistics, men still masturbate more than we do.  (And don't you need to do something for yourself while he is jerking off in the next room to internet porn?) 

In his landmark 1948 and 1953 studies on male and female sexuality, Dr. Alfred Kinsey (Kinsey Institute) reported that 92% of men masturbated while only 62% of women did.  A list of more up-to-date statistics on Go Ask Alice, a very good Columbia University health website, indicates that we women are gaining ground, but men still beat us (pun intended) at taking care of themselves. I suspect that a lot of women lie too.  They don't want to admit to masturbating because it remains a bit of a taboo subject.  (Look at women's magazines.  The articles cover every area of couple sex, but rarely touch masturbation--and then, mostly as a tool for learning how you reach orgasm so you can teach your man.)

One reason men do it more often--aside from the obvious, It's-Hanging-Out-There-Why-Not-Grab-On-To-It?:  Women in relationships believe that "sex" should be a couple's only activity.  Some regard masturbating as a sign of "cheating" or unhappiness with the partner.  Many women have asked me:  "Why does my husband masturbate when he could be having sex with me?"  (Sometimes he just wants a quick release.)  Conversely, they expect their man to deliver sexual pleasure as if it were an item of a take-out menu and not something that could be whipped up in one's own kitchen. And some (including young) women still subscribe to tired old myths like:  Masturbation dulls the desire for partner sex or women who use vibes can't come any other way.  Oh, balls!  No science bears that out. 

I say:  Own a wardrobe of vibes and use one daily to reach orgasm.  Use a vibrator because it gets you there faster (and time is usually of the essence in our hectic lives)--AND playing with a vibe makes masturbating even more fun.  I can use the Hitachi or a pocket rocket and literally come in seconds.  Or I can use a Rabbit and have a blended orgasm.  Or...well, you get the idea.  Why the focus on orgasms? 

Orgasm has many health benefits, including tension and stress reduction, increased blood flow, relief from minor aches and pains, elevated mood and more.  It is the best headache cure.  And it's good for your relationship too.  Once you take your pleasure into your own hands, you can relax and enjoy partner sex more.  When you feel less pressured to have an orgasm--and he or she feels less pressured to give you one--you have more of them anyway.

Babes, go buy a new toy and indulge yourself.   

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime