SexyPrime, a blog by Susan Crain Bakos

IT'S REBECCA FRIDAY: Rebecca Explains (Sort of) Why She Was Briefly Enamoured Of The Big Toy

Rebecca is examining her own preconceived notions about penis size this week.  I like the way she takes herself on here.  Penis size is a difficult subject for women to handle honestly.  We have been schooled in the feminine ways and wiles.  Don't hurt their feelings.  The male ego is fragile.  Tell him how big he is even if he isn't.

"I prefer a large dick--and by large, I mean a little more than the average six inches and a little more than the average thickness.  Rebecca's Big Toy would have daunted me (even post-childbirth.)  I have known two men in my life--one white, one black--who were extraordinarily endowed, ten and eleven inches.  That was somewhat challenging, but infinitely more appealing than a big piece of plastic. 

 

One of our reader’s (Thank you) commented: “ Rebecca was going to explain her fascination with size. Why did she go for the largest dildo in the shop?”

I answered “Quite frankly, the bigger penises had better ‘shelf appeal’”. There could be many reasons for that. In my articles I think I have said or implied that the size preference is most certainly a matter of social conditioning. Then of course, what one can't get with certainty in a sexual toss up, one can purchase with certainty. In short, my choice of the largest dildo in the shop was motivated by buying power, advertising and my own naivete.

The real answer: I have no fucking clue other than I had a wad of cash burning a hole in my pocket and the big toy was a “luxury” model.   As I began to write an answer to the reader’s comment, I had an explanation in mind. Then I could not figure out for myself why penis size was an issue. Shouldn’t what we want in a penis (or dildo) be simply: Does this equipment work for me and is its selection relative to my experience, needs and desires?

The reality is that the average penis measures six inches in length. Let’s really think about this. How big is the vaginal canal? Please don’t answer. As I have gotten older and “self educated” I learned that an extremeness on either side of the median is off putting. The sexual Goldilocks theory not too big, not too little but just right. Or in common language   “OWW!”   “Is it in?”  And my favorite “Ohh baby, yes.”

The word empowerment has come up again. I shall use an edited Wikipedia definition.

Empowerment is probably the totality of the following or similar capabilities:

• Having decision-making power of one's own
• Having access to information and resources for taking proper decision
• Having a range of options from which you can make choices (not just yes/no, either/or.)
• Ability to exercise assertiveness in collective decision making
• Having positive thinking on the ability to make change
• Ability to learn skills for improving one's personal or group power.
• Ability to change others’ perceptions by democratic means.
• Involving in the growth process and changes that is never ending and self-initiated
• Increasing one's positive self-image and overcoming stigma
• Increasing ones ability in discreet thinking to sort out right and wrong

In short, the empowerment is the process that allows one to gain the knowledge, skill-sets and attitude needed to cope with the changing world and the circumstances in which one lives.

Let us think about that in the 21st Century in the USA. We still teach abstinence education. I write this because there were things that I learned through circumstances.  I don’t recommend this method.

So me I have chosen Haagen Daz as my Companion and you as the girlfriends, sisters, brothers, boyfriends and the lovers. Hopefully, I will share my stories with you while working  through my sugar high and we will all figure it out.

Thank you to the person who wrote.  I encourage more feedback, it is anonymous. Your email addresses are never shown.  If a reader submits a story idea via a comment on this blog.and  I use it, Susan will send a special thank you toy.  Incentive, folks... 

Till Next week. …

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime 

Rebecca Finds Her Inner Empowered Woman: Part Three of Rebecca and the Big Toy

I promised you that the conclusion of Rebecca's story would be well worth the wait.  You will never look at a large dildo the same way again after reading this.

If you missed the first two parts of Rebecca and the Big Toy, go to index on the right hand side and look up those posts.  Read in order.

Here's Rebecca:

Before we get to the conclusion of my story of IT, the big dildo—let me explain to you why I had given up on men and was trying to find my pleasure with plastic.

I tried Internet dating. An example of that: After a few chats with this fellow, I thought we passed the sanity test, exhibited mutual interest and attraction—so I agreed to meet in a public place, a noisy bar.

The fellow was very tall, extraordinarily tall. He kept talking over my head. Not even the bar stool I was sitting on gave me enough height. I saw his lips move, heard loud mumbling and caught an occasional downward glance.  I thought that perhaps the neck strain was too much for him—or that, like most men, he was rambling to stave off an attack of nerves.

I did hear the occasional sentence fragment. “I am very smart, blah, blah, blah “ Yet he did look interesting--in that odd, curious way I like.

I crouched on my stool to get a better listen. To my dismay, I discovered that he was watching bowling on television; and that’s why he kept looking over my head. Worse, it was not regular bowling, but “midget” bowling on some reality show. To clarify, it was not “midgets”—Let’s be P.C.!’’—it was “Little People “ bowling. No, it was people bowling with “Little People” in lieu of bowling balls.

This should have convinced me that the Internet wasn’t for me.

Ever the optimist, I met my husband online. If Sybil was a man with no ability to control his sexual impulses—that would be the man I married. He was the total hedonist, without any boundaries a.k.a the nasty troll  Oh yeah did I mention the multiple personalities? His main secret identity was J8ooo, but he had over 50 others.

My husband made a point of not listening to me. This came in handy during our divorce, as I remembered his disdain when I mentioned a pre-nup during our engagement. Personalities 5, 10 and 30 lamented not accepting my willingness to sign the pre-nup as I ran out the door with my settlement check.

I remember reading on the Internet that we have replaced love with fear. That being said, what does this word “empowerment” mean? Female sexual empowerment!  What the fuck does that mean?

For Susan, it means going into the world—informing women. It also means being an unabashed sexy cougar. I am still figuring out what it means for me.

Maybe it is about informed choices, taking an honest personal inventory and making choices rather than settling and facing those fears.

Rather than going for bigger faster harder as I was when I bought IT—I am trying smaller, slower, softer. Scowl, if you must. But really, as I grow older, at the end of the day—I can’t scowl at the idea of a gentler life anymore.

When I walked out of Babeland with IT, I was definitely in my “Bigger” phase.

What happened to IT, you ask? I did promise to end the story this week.

I had a “home invasion” I reached for my MAG flashlight to bash the “invader” over the head. Note: This is the plan for such a device illumination and pain. But I accidentally grabbed IT. With great force and a loud scream, I swung IT for dear life.

An 8 inch brown dildo with testicles had real value that night. Thanks to the bounciness of silicone—the boing boing effect—one swat scored several hits. The testicles gave it almost a bat like quality. I proceeded to beat the invader about the head and face with IT.
I was screaming,“ Motherfucker!!” as I ran him out of my home, barefoot, wearing just a t-shirt and some panties. I felt like SHE RA, Wonder Woman, and the Pink Power Ranger. etc etc. .

I live across the hall from a church-going little old lady, Mrs. XXX. I greet her often, helping her with the door and with her shopping cart. I help her only because well she is nice but she is very, old and very, very slow. I often find her blocking the doorway as I am running into the house to use the lavatory.

The noise roused her from her sleep. Peering out the door, she saw a man running out of my apartment at breakneck speed with a half naked woman, me, swinging a large brown dick screaming, “Motherfucker!” That was her statement to the police.

Long story short, the invader turned out to be a neighbor’s kid.

I “accidentally” left IT in a taxicab on my way to an untraceable garbage can in Chinatown @ 2:00am. I continue to see Mrs. XXX often. I have never seen an old lady move so fast in my life.

This is something I found from the Mayo clinic:

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) guidelines don't suggest routine STD screening if you don't have any symptoms, unless your sexual practices include having sex with men.

If you are a man who has sex with men, annual screening for HIV, syphilis, Chlamydia and gonorrhea is recommended. HIV and syphilis can be life-threatening if untreated, and Chlamydia and gonorrhea can put you at greater risk of acquiring HIV and other STDs. Most men carry STDs without exhibiting symptoms, making them “silent carriers.” Isn’t it wise to suggest that all men, gay and straight, who are sexually active be regularly tested?

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime 

Rebecca and the Big Toy--Part Two

Rebecca's story of the Big Toy won't wrap up today.  She got distracted by the desire to provide you with some useful info about vibes.  (Good distraction, Rebecca.)  So you have to wait another week for the hilarious conclusion to this story--but Part 2 is well worth your time.

 

Here's Rebecca:

 

 

At the end of Part One, I was in a quandary—sitting on the floor, half naked, eating ice cream and staring at the largest dildo my money could (and did) buy. I will let you sit with that image for a minute. Oh yeah, I look fantastic when I am harried.

 

I gave the aforementioned Dildo a name: " IT”. IT was too big, too much and far too expensive. My mind was foggy, clouded by the sugar rush and lack of sexual release.  What could I do with IT that would make me feel the investment was justified?

 

I imagined It under glass on the mantle as I explained to my guest “Yes, that is a new “ Insert Artist Name “ piece. IT is part of the artist statement of how sexuality has influenced our everyday lives.”  

Blah, blah, blah Artistic vulgarity believable, anyone? Anyone?

 

My cat, Patience, lovely albeit angry ungrateful wench that she is, came over. Yes, for a clear minute I thought …cat toy!! Patience, hit IT a few times with her paw. . Cats have a way of looking at you like you are a complete idiot while demanding to be fed at the same time. She did that.

IT in hand, I stood up to get the cat food.  Where to put IT? I looked around my apartment. In the corner by the door, stood my trusty Mag Instrument S4D016 Black Heavy Duty 4 D-Cell Flashlight. 16.9 x 4.9 x 2 inches, 4 pounds.

Every man has a metal baseball bat by his door for home protection. I had a MAG Flashlight, slick reliable, able to provide a solid light source and a good sound smack, if needed. 

 

IT had a new home, right next to my Mag. As IT sat there it didn’t look odd and out of place.  IT actually looked smaller, kind of sort of, maybe. I made a mental note: Think of some plan to rid my self of IT. So I did what any New York woman would do_-I put IT firmly out of my mind...for the moment...and vowed to do some research.

 

I am lucky to live in a big city, with options. What do horny people do when they live in the boondocks? How does one make an informed choice about what to do with IT when they end up dissatisfied wi their purchase?

Mulling over these and other questions, I decided to call Rachael Venning of Babeland to get the Sex Toy 101. 

 

Where do you recommend buying Sex Toys?  What do you look for in a store that carries these products? (This part is a shameless plug) What are the various questions one should ask before buying a vibe or dildo?

 

If you don’t have a cute shop in your town, please visit babeland.com. The site is very fun and we carry all the best toys, with new ones continually being added to the site.

One key question is “will I use it for penetration, clitoral stimulation or both?” Consider your budget- in general you get what you pay for, but a novice may want to try a variety of less expensive toys to explore and discover what she most enjoys.

 

What is the difference between vibes and dildos ?

Anything that vibrates, even if it is shaped for penetration, is a vibe. The dildos have no motors, they are hand (or in the case of strap-ons, hip-) powered. My favorite vibes are rechargeable (no batteries to replace) and made of hygienic materials. The programmable Sasi Vibe, and the wearable We Vibe are two of the most exciting products out there now. Dildos made from silicone, glass, wood or metal not only feel good, but are lovely sculptural objects as well.

 

Some vibes are small and designed just for clitoral stimulation; others can go inside for vaginal or G-spot stimulation. And some- like the famous Rabbit Habit- do both, at the same time.

How big do they get? Ridiculous question but I have to ask.

 

Dildos get quite enormous! But most of the toys Babeland sells are around

6 inches

long.

Are they dangerous?

No.

 

How do you clean?

Warm water and soap.

 

Babeland doesn’t offer a recycling program. But I have found—drumroll!-- www.sextoyrecycling.com. I will offer you more info on this program in future articles but it sounds exciting. I particularly love the section on Eco Friendly Alternatives.

 

For info on Babe land’s sex toy material, please read:

http://www.babeland.com/shoppingadvice/sextoymaterials/view?searchterm=sex%20toy%20materials

 

The best article for you to read (it covers just about everything):

http://www.babeland.com/shoppingadvice/vibeadvice/view?searchterm=cleaning%20a%20sex%20toy

 

 

There is list of brands that Babeland buys our sex toys from.  These companies ensure quality materials, designs, and customer satisfaction.

http://www.babeland.com/brands

 

Babeland has a lot of information or “how tos” on choosing the perfect toy, harness, and lube here:

http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/choose-a-vibrator

http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/choose-harness

http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/choose-lube

http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/choose-anal-toy

http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/choose-a-dildo

 

This is all “ shit and giggles “ but on a serious note. 

Did you know that sex toys in general are illegal in  Alabama and, until recently, in Alabama and Texas. (Insert ironies here)? It could get you arrested, prosecuted and convicted for up to two years. 

 

As I finished my pint of chocolate Haagen Daz, my W.T.F. moment had passed. A recycling program did not exsit until recently and I still had IT in the corner of my living room. More on that next week.

 

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime 

 

 

  

 

 

"Open Wide"--Or, Rebecca and Her Big Toy, Part 1

Rebecca is back in fine form!

On a personal note:  I have never been a big dildo fan.  They require too much work on my part.  (Where's the damn power switch?) I much prefer vibes.  Aside from my beloved Rabbits and some G spot vibes, I also usually prefer to be penetrated by the real thing, a nice, big, warm and responsive cock that I can feel throbbing inside me.  But, as you know, I love vibe play--alone and with a partner--using a variety of models on my clit and surrounding area, even labia and my nipples.

We all have our preferences; and I send women to the Babeland stores and website because there is something for everyone--and the quality of the products, information and service is excellent.

Here is Rebecca (and wait until you read part two next week:

 

Open Wide.

Well you know that every woman has had a moment where she gives up on men. The feminist or the nilhist told me that men are irreverent. In short, someone pissed me off and I was PROFOUNDLY disappointed.

Reading the SCUM Manifesto by Valerie Solanas in the repressive summer heat of

New York

intensified my mood. So I cut the cord and eliminated that need for men in my life. I went out to purchase Dil Doul, an Olisbos, a phallic imitator

 

First, I went to my favorite “gossip spot” Leatherman. NYC—a familiar “home” long before other sex shops opened. Leatherman is, however, decidedly boy-centric, but the salesmen are funny, approachable and informed. After some shit and giggles, they referred me to Babes and Toyland.   I overheard a conversation including the phrases “ this is for “ and “Fisting is….”—said while the sales clerk was waving a gigantic, arm like item in the air—and I made a hasty exit to the store for girls.

 
Babes in Toyland is like a luxury car dealership for Dildo shopping. I wanted the latest model that was fully loaded. A luxury model the fantasy, my fantasy. . Rather than dealing with the real-life biggest dick I would purchase myself one. Fantastic!!!

Like Leather man, everyone at Babeland was is informed and they liked to share. “Did you want me to suggest some items to you?” the salesperson asked.  She walked me through all the models, their various features and maintaince.

My response was; “ Is this the biggest one you have?” The salesgirl raised her eyebrow, looked over her glasses, squinted and in a very professional manner suggested that I stick with this option first and upgrade after I put this model through it paces. In hindsight, I recognize that she did suggest other. perhaps more appropriate options, but I declined.

I took myself out to a nice dinner, went home, put on some music. I was wearing my sexy bra. No need to break my normal dating, sex routine. I run through my mind some old sexual scenario that I’d stored in the mental file. It is on!!!!

Now I was excited and ready for some penetration. I lubed that baby up, rubbed and pushed, fondled, rubbed--and I pushed. Hmm, it felt good; it felt nice. I felt good, I felt nice—but hmmm.. The fight was a little tight. No problem, first time. I tried again. Too tight—but I was breaking in my plastic, so to speak.

I started to consider. …This fucker didn’t fit. I tried and my body was rejecting the dildo. My vagina was like “ Oh no this won’t go. The only thing that size in my vagina should be on its way down the birth canal after 7 to 9 months—and proceeded by an epidural.

I sat on the floor with a pint of chocolate Haagen Dazs and contemplated my dilemma—realizing that I’d been a little slow on the sarcasm uptake. Hell, I was hot horny and frustrated. I was so pleased with myself when I bought that Dick for 70.00.  Now that time had passed. I moved from being horny/ empowered to feeling ridiculous, but still empowered.

 So then I wondered: "What the hell does I do with this thing, now." You can’t return a dildo to the store. I can’t simply throw it our in the trash. I can’t re -gift it. It is too obviously a penis to be used as a knick-knack on my mantle.

Now this is the conundrum folks…

 Next week: I will give you some tips for buying, then recycling and ridding yourself of your faux Phallus’—but more importantly I am going to tell you what happened with my Dick. I will also discuss Penis size and my obsession with it.

 

I apologize for last week.

 

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime 

Investigative Foreplay--and Other Safer Sex Ideas

Rebecca is not in a particularly "funny" mood today, but she has a good story to tell us--with a bottom line important message about your sexual health.  (And she is funnier than anyone else has ever been on the subject of Sexually Transmitted Infections.)

I endorse the DC (see below)!  One of the things I tell women:  Be sure that the penis looks, feels, smells and tastes right even before you put the condom on it.  Something is off?  Get out of there.  Go play with your vibes.

Now here is Rebecca:

 

 

 

I learned about the “D.C” from a prostitute Reno, Nevada.

. A “D.C” or Dick Check, is a physical exam that prostitutes perform on their clients to see if there are any visible signs of STDs.

Modified for the non-professional, the Dick Check is Investigative Foreplay.  Here's how you do it:

1. Squeeze the head of the Penis to see if the fluid is clear.

(I suggest you insert an “ Oh baby you are so big!” comment at that time.)

2. Then you examine the penis and surrounding area for any lesion or bumps.

(You can insert a few more comments at this point.  However, one must try not to sound ridiculous.)

3 Utilize diplomacy and candor if an exit strategy is needed. But there are times when cowardice and repulsion require a verbal solution. "Oh, baby, Haagen Dazs is on sale at my local grocery store. "I forgot I have to go before they run out!”  Your sudden ice cream lust will confuse them.

Now you are wondering where I'm going with this.

I get tested regularly, but my male partners are reluctant to do so.

Getting tested for STD/ STI’s is not a regular part of their health routine like it is ours. Women get screened twice a year. They get tested, eventually... but it has always been a challenge for me to get them there.

Is it really difficult for men to get tested? If any men out there have faced challenges in getting tested, I would love to hear about it. Do men think that they should only be tested when committing to a relationship? 

 Lets face it are any of us really candid about our sexual history? I think we all edit. We edit numbers that's for sure. But what else? Who else??

I get tested before I engage in sex with a new lover. That just seems logical to me. I live near a very nice clinic that has free/ low cost testing. So I drop my knickers on a regular basis.

 As a matter of fact, I was in South Africa on a working holiday. I saw some women in line outside a hut, in a small town in an area of Johannesburg. When I asked what it was about, the woman mentioned "checkup." I thought …cool, I have some time to kill. Fifteen minutes into waiting on line, I realized that the Doctor was a Witch Doctor checking the town for Virgins. The translation from Zulu to English wasn’t entirely accurate.

Many  STDs are symptomatic in men especially and regular STD testing is essential. You and your partner should be tested for Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, HIV, Syphilis and Hepatitis. I believe sexually active people should get tested every three months. 
Also, there are no good screening tests for herpes, and HPV testing is limited — you can’t be tested unless they have visible warts.
I think we should issue health cards like drivers licenses--or a sexual credit card, if you will. So I can ask you …baby is your credit clean??? But again if life was that easy.. Well we would be living in the 21^st century. Wouldn’t we? Aren’t We?

I am learning to limit to sexual partner/s to those who can offer me candor, constancy, and mutual agreement. No silent agreements in the sex game…. folks. Never assume.

Contact info for public health facilities in NYC and Private labs that offer their services throughout the USA --  www.labsafe.com

Is expensive but you can pay with pay pal. The private lab offers complete privacy and doesn’t report your info to your insurance.

http://tstd.org/, it is 250.00 for a full panel. It doesn’t require your name. However give you a 13-digit number.

Free/ Low Cost

Planned parenthood offers testing for men: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex-101.htm

http://chnnyc.org/ This is a New York-based Health Center based all over NYC that offer free or low cost heath care. Ladies the Morning after Pill and Birth Control is free here.

http://www.nyc.gov/html/doh/html/std/std2.shtml

This is another list of free clinic that offer confidential testing

 Next week, I promise I will be funny. There is a “Sex Issue” in L magazine that is awful good, so when you have a second grab a free issue or www.thelmagazine.com

 

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime 

Who Is Qualified To Give Sex Advice?

Rebecca and I aren't in complete agreement on the following post.  (And that's okay.)  I do think porn stars can give sex advice.  No, they aren't always right.  Who is always right? 

I know some of the girls and they are not stupid.  They can teach us a few sex tricks.  Jenna Jameson is a very smart businesswoman.  Jamie Lynn is one of the sweetest, most down to earth girls you'll ever meet--and has good insights into male sexuality.  She is the model in The Orgasm Bible.  I remember how I felt when I first saw the photos:  She was so perfect for the elegantly erotic spirit of the book that I had goosebumps. 

I am, however, all for lube!  And condoms....Rebecca is right:  They could be better.

Here is Rebecca:

“Beware of People Giving Advice or Stupid People Talking about Sex”

 

Jenna Jameson proudly proclaimed, “ Don’t use lube use spit”

 

Porn stars cannot give advice about sex. They can give advice about the role of woman in Pornography from their “unique” point of view. They can give insight to the ins and outs of the business. How to prepare you body for certain scenes. What to charge if the movie has three way or gang bang or if they are a feature actress in the film. Jenna Jameson  can speak about the alternative means of revenue for a woman in their Pornographic Careers. Shit they can even speak about  Acting in Porn 101. I am just waiting for the course at The Learning Annex.

 

Lube keeps condoms from breaking. Remember, you are taking advice from an industry where STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) are par for the course. Lubrication allows you to have sex longer without pain or damaging any of the soft vaginal tissue. Tears in these tissues can lead to the spread of STD’s. Lube is good, lube is great. Lube, my friends lube is awesome!!!!!

 

Spit is meant to aid digestion.

 

I had a rather interesting conversation with someone last week. He said that we are in the 21^st century; we are exploring Mars, the great Ocean Depths. We have ATM’s cell-phones, the Internet, all these forms of technology that exceed the dreams of many of us. So why is it that condoms still suck!!

 

This was a male. I am a female who is allergic to latex and most lubes out there. None of the condoms I buy indicates which lubricants they use on them unless it is Nonoxynol-9 otherwise know n as battery acid for the genitals.  This is from Wikipedia,

 

Nonoxynol-9, sometimes abbreviated as N-9, is a non-ionic nonoxynol surficant that is used as an ingredient in various cleaning and cosmetic products, but is also widely used in contraceptives for its spermicidal properties.

Although it was at one time widely promoted as a protection against sexually transmitted infections including HIV, subsequent studies have shown that it can in fact increase the risk of infection by damaging the physical barriers of the rectum or vagina.[1]

 

This is a product that goes on and in you. What is the 411, FOLKS!!!!

 

So I am doing some investigative reporting on the Condom Industry Building a better and a greener condom folks… Lets talk about it.

 

 

Next week: Who are your Hero’s?  The D.C. ????

 

Also to all those in doubt ,   I am wearing a Red Bra in the picture and it is not the Bra but my awesome breasts. 

I will also suggest you check out  The "Dickipedia", it is a fascinating take on  Wikipedia and Ariel Levy's " Female Chauvinist"

 

As ever the spoon is cold, the mouth is hot and the breast are fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime 

Let's Put Some Humor Into Our Sex Lives!

Rebecca is that rare combination in a woman:  beautiful and funny.  She makes me laugh as she is making good points about sexuality today.  You will love her!

And now, Rebecca's first post:

 

In between spoons, of classic chocolate, Häagen-Dazs, I am engaging in a personal examination of sex and sexuality in this century.   I am sorry that was the sugar and my sense of narcissistic self-importance.  So I will just talk about my sex life.

What ever happened to regular sex in porn ?

Really have you ever asked yourself that question?  I had a fantastic sex life averaging 2 -3 times a day with costumes, location changes. By today's standards, it was very regular sex; I thought I had a very hot sex life. Pornography was a small but vital part of it providing occasional inspiration.

A few years ago, the dynamic shifted. Porn was a guilty pleasure that one had to make an effort to acquire –and then suddenly it was instantly available by typing the word Fuck in any Internet portal

I love Internet porn, free Internet porn, especially. I have no illusion or disillusions about it. The porn of my youth was Deep Throat when I was a child. Then I grew up into adult Holiday Inn Porn or Hotel Porn.

In hotel porn, objects were placed in front of scenes of penetration. I just love all the strategically placed plants, lamps and chairs. Porn that naughty pleasure good for fun with more than one.

 
But now it’s all close ups of penetration. Super huge penises, the breast and now even the asses are huge. So we need bigger OK, I got that message

The super huge penises thrusting like pistons revving in a muscle car in my vagina, in my anus, in my mouth.  So we need to increase the speed. OK, I got that message.

I am supposed to take this huge penis from my mouth into my vagina and now my anus keeping the speed of the fucking @ 90 m.p.h. I am supposed to do this while maintaining a wide variety of yoga like poses that allow close up shots of the “ramming”, I am getting. OK I got that message.

To complete this endeavor, I have will have no obvious orgasm; I am supposed to allow my partner to come on my face. OK…I got that message.

W.T.F.

The new porn sex seems—well, boring. Really, boring. No one seems to be really into it. The woman is kind of screaming and the dude …did they cut his vocal cords or is he some robot penis, with thrusting speeds and an ejaculation button? Is there a reason why he is naked except for a pair of shoes, sandals or socks. Are there no barefoot robot penises?

 
Where is the mutual passion?  I don’t see porn for the great story telling folks…. I like a good sex scene with no chaser. But…this isn’t it.

Bigger, Faster, Harder that is a fucking contact sport. …Pun intended folks. So…

I scream for ice cream folks.

 Next week:

 “Beware of People Giving Advise to or Stupid People Talking about Sex”

 A personal note: I am not a right wing conservative, at all. I am pro-choice and pro-sex. So all you religious left wing republicans well my left index finger salutes you and my right hand holds the chocolate ice cream covered spoon.

 

 

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"I'd Rather Have Haagen-Dazs!"

Rebecca, who looks ten years younger than her 38 years is a tiny, stunning woman with that creamy cafe au lait skin.  She's blunt and bold.  And she should be a stand-up comic.

This is Rebecca on Sex and Orgasms:

"Whatever happened to straight sex?  Men want all this stuff!  Anal!  Coming on your face!  What's wrong with your penis in my vagina?  Men don't want women.  They want dolls they can pose like porn stars and do whatever they want to them.

"Sex isn't fun anymore.  I'd rather eat Haagen-Dazs.

"I don't come that often anyway.

"If a guy is going for my elusive orgasm, I should tell him:  We could be here all day and I have to go to work. 

"In my head I'm thinking about cleaning the bathroom while he's trying to get me off.  I look at my feet and wonder if I'm pointing them enough.  I have to keep cute poses!  Then I realize that I need a pedicure.

"And I've lost the possibility of orgasm.

"Uh! oh! uh!.....oh, I don't think so."

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime