SexyPrime, a blog by Susan Crain Bakos

M's ANAL INTERCOURSE PRIMER FOR VIRGINS AND NOVICES

 
Photo Credit:  "Black and White" on Photobucket

 

[I edited for space, but otherwise here it is, the best basic guide to anal intercourse for newbies’ that I’ve ever read--SCB]

From M:

Let’s talk lubricants.

Do not use vaseline or other petroleum-based lubricants with condoms, as the petroleum-based lube breaks down the latex. While I have had success with a number of lubricants—and olive oil has the benefit of being edible and usually available right in your kitchen cabinets—my lubricant of choice is Astroglide, light, slick, wate-rbased, and made for sexual use. Be generous with the Astroglide.  Keep adding it with each finger, work in as much lube as you can, and coat the cock with lube also.

Obviously, anal intercourse will take some patience and planning for the novice—

but you can practice with the fingers, toys, and relaxation techniques when you are alone to help prepare. Just remember: ANTICIPATION, STIMULATION, RELAXATION, LUBRICATION, PENETRATION, EXALTATION and throughout all of this when you are with your partner, maintain COMMUNICATION!

 A bubble bath before often really helps with the relaxation aspect.

 Now to address the actual practice of introducing manmeat into tender tight anal opening.

There is technique to that as well (women who are comfortably experienced with anal fucking can often dispense with this, but you’re not there yet.)

Once you have been comfortably stroked in your nether opening by one, then two, and finally three fingers, you are relaxed, well-lubed, have had three hot orgasms and are craving cock in your ass. (NOTE: I sometimes progress to three fingers, but if a woman is relaxed enough to comfortably take two fingers without a lot of resistance, the third finger is not really necessary.)

Now, do NOT have your partner shove his cock in your ass!!!! No!

Your partner should gently press his well-lubed cockhead against your anus and rub it in slow circles like the ones we used with fingers. With very little pressure, eventually the anus will dilate and the cockhead will slide in on its own, but you need to control the pace.

Back onto the cock (assuming you are in the doggie position, more on positions later), but do not have the cock pushed in. When the head passes the sphincters, it will tend to slide in several inches immediately. Stop, rest, alternate squeezing and releasing your sphincter, then slowly back onto the cock more and more, stopping often, until your partner is pressed fully into your hot little ass. He should remain mostly still while you experiment with this.

Once you are fully impaled on cock, don't move!!!  After a few seconds, maybe as much as a minute, you will feel that it is quite noticeably not as tight. Your anal sphincter and other rectal muscles will really relax to the point where the cock can move freely. Then you, not your partner, should experiment with slow, short, back and forth movements. At this point, it should quite quickly get comfortable enough for longer, but still slow, strokes.

After that, you are on your own as far as finding a pace that works for you and good luck! Many women really want their ass slammed once they are relaxed enough to take it, others prefer to continue with slow gentle strokes. Find the one that works best for YOU!

 Finally, positions—

Most people automatically think doggie style when they are exploring anal sex, and that is certainly one of our preferred positions for backdoor action, but for many beginners, it is non-optimal.

First, remember that any position that you can fuck in, can also be used for anal fucking with minor adjustments. That said, since anal sex depends heavily on relaxation, and to some degree on angle of entry, many people find that the woman on her back with her hips elevated (possibly with a pillow, some people indicate that they have had great success with the LIBERATOR) is often the best position for the woman to relax enough to enjoy anal. Generally, regardless of position, the angle of entry should have the penis pointed toward the woman’s navel…though recognize that people differ anatomically, so if that is not comfortable, keep changing the angle until you find one that works for you!

While there are individual differences, I think in most cases, the woman would be most comfortable lying on her back with her legs up.  Second choice is probably face down flat, NOT up in the doggie style position. The primary issue in comfortable anal sex is fully relaxing the anal sphincters. For someone who has any difficulty with this aspect of anal (including most anal beginners, and even some people who have enjoyed anal sex for years), lying on one's back with the legs elevated is the simplest way to relax the sphincters. Supporting your body on your knees creates some muscular tension, which will tend to cause the sphincters to tighten a bit as well.

For longer anal sessions, I tend to have the woman on her back on the edge of the bed with me standing beside the bed holding her legs up, often on my shoulders.

All that noted, all positions that work for vaginal sex can work for anal sex with only slight adjustments, so there are individual differences.  I personally LIKE doggie style generally, and for anal, so unless there is a problem with the woman not being able to comfortably open up in that position, it is still one of my most common positions for anal sex.

 

In case you have concerns about cleanliness, this is a hygiene addendum.

Unsurprisingly, the issue of fecal matter is a concern for many people deciding to take the back road to pleasure. so let me address that unsavory issue. There are several things to consider that collectively make for a cleaner anal environment.

First, assuming the woman has regular daily bowel movements at about the same time of day, try to be several hours later. Ideally, if the woman is on a morning movement schedule, by evening the lower colon should be fairly debris free. After a proper bowel movement, the body normally does not store fecal matter in the lower colon where anal pleasuring occurs. Shortly before sex, soaking in a nice warm soapy bath, and sliding a very soapy finger into the anus will do a wonderful job of cleaning the area thoroughly. Some people suggest a small enema, but if you do that it should be several hours earlier, as it can stimulate another bowel movement. If you insist on the enema (which I do not recommend) it should be at least six hours before playtime. My experience is that EVERY TIME there has been a fecal incident in anal, it was when the woman had an enema first. Not necessary and not a good idea.

Continuing on the cleanliness issue, once anal play starts, never introduce a finger or cock that has been in contact with the anus into the vagina without washing it thoroughly with soap and water. Even a clean anus harbors some e-coli bacteria, which can cause a nasty infection if introduced into the vagina. In our play, I only use my right hand for anal stimulation, that way I always know that once any anal play starts, the right hand goes to the back door and only the left hand goes to the front door.

Additionally, if there is any squeamishness about the cock touching any possible fecal matter, you can wear a condom. This also might be a good idea for first anal for a different reason, some guys get so excited by the new experience, and the tightness that you might cum too quickly, and most guys cum more slowly with a condom.

 Read M's guide to Double Penetration, DP, in this week's Ask Auntie Sue. 

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime

 

 

ASK AUNTIE SUE: Reader Questions on "Pick-Up Culture," "Whipped Men,"--and "How to fulfill a DP fantasy?:

 
Auntie Sue's Legs, photo by Trent

 

Is everyone back at work today?  I must admit that I feel more secure knowing all jobs are being tended once again.  If I need something, you’re on it, right?  Most importantly, Dan Taylor, my crush, my D.T. in the morning man on wcbsfm 101.1, is back at his post, waking me with that delicious sexy voice.  My New Year’s Resolution is to take D.T. to lunch.  (I will even accept Mr. G accompanying him as chaperone.)

 

Q.  “I have gone out with two men in their thirties recently who told me they have attended Pick-Up workshops.  Really?  Pick-Up workshops?  This is all from Neil Strauss and that ugly book The Game, right?  These two guys had a very similar dating style:  they spent a lot of money, had more or less good manners but constantly were picking at me over little things, looking for the chinks in my armor.  One asked me if my pearls were real—they are!—and if I knew they needed polishing, then he said, ‘Oh, I hope I haven’t made you feel so self-conscious you will take them off.’  Nope.  Check, please.  Since when is being hyper-critical a dating technique?”  Marnie, 36, Atlanta.

A.  At their best, Pick-Up workshops, classes, seminars, websites and download-able material help men who are lacking in social skills and/or confidence learn how to talk to women and ask them out for dates and create meaningful relationships.   There’s a big need for that teaching, especially among men and women who have come of age in Hook-Up Culture and have no idea how to date or seduce.   Jordan and A.J. Harbinger at The Art of Charm run a high- class operation.  Kimmie has worked with him in developing and teaching programs; and I have been a guest on Pick-Up Podcast.  High marks to them for helping many men learn how to connect with women.

At their worst, the Pick-Up operations teach a sleazy man’s version of The Rules.  One of the techniques for getting a woman in bed is undermining her confidence through  criticism so that she can’t make decisions for herself and feels the need to please the man in charge.  Sadly, it works on too many women, especially younger women with fragile egos.

I wouldn’t describe Neil Strauss’ book as “ugly.”  Have you read it?  An unflinching look at the man/woman game from the male perspective—it’s not an easy read if you don’t own a penis.  But for pure ugly manipulation, you can’t beat The Rules.

 

Q.  “Why are American men either whipped or testosterone-fueled assholes?  I just returned to Australia after a month in your country, including ten days in New York City.  American women were literally throwing themselves at me.  Why?  I’m a real man.  Do you think an Aussie guide to manhood would sell in the U.S.?  “  C.S.

A.  SexyPrime readers are real men!

We love an accent here in the States so that was surely part of your appeal .  I have an idea:  contact the PU community and offer classes in Aussie Real Manhood.  Who knows?  That might lead to a lucrative book deal.  Hope to see you on your next trip to the city; we will discuss all this further.

 

Q.  “My wife and I have experimented with threesomes, usually two women, sometimes two men.  She has a fantasy of double penetration, or DP.  I want to arrange it for her birthday.  Any suggestions on pulling it off—like where do all the legs go?”  Scott, Toronto.

A.  Since I have only seen DP done in porn DVDs and never experienced it, I went to an expert, M, the California man with vast sexual experiences who has a lot of sex and few orgasms (featured in last week's Ask Auntie Sue).  He says,

“The single biggest issue of coordination is where to put the six legs.  The best position for me and partners is a variation of doggy style with the woman on top of the man entering her vaginally and the man penetrating anally behind her.  The bottom guy has his legs hanging off the side of the bed (or sofa).  Her legs on the bed frame his, while her ass hangs off the side of the bed.  The backdoor guy is standing up.  Many porn films show the anal man on the bottom, but he is unable to move in that position and is completely dependent on the other two.  Positions that work for filming because they show off genitals often suck in practice.  Let the man on top act as director and keep the communication open.

“Unless she consistently finds anal sex to be relatively easy to accomplish, take the time to open up her back door first.  Then have her climb on the pussy guy.  Lastly, the back door guy re-enters.

“A caveat:  You really need to make sure that both men are sufficiently comfortable in their sexuality to not freak when they are rubbing balls with another man.  Realize that balls will touch other balls. The two cocks definitely rub against each other through the membrane separating the two openings.  My single best suggestion for a woman who wants to make her DP fantasy come true...

is that she invite me to be the second male.”

M also sent me a short primer on anal intercourse that is really good.  It will run on SexyPrime next weekend.  Thanks, M!

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime.

 

DIARY OF AN AFFAIR, Part Five: You Have What I Need

 
Photo Credit:  "Pink Music" on photobucket

 

Have you missed me this week?

I used the stolen laptop/researching/purchasing new one as an excuse to take some time off from the internet.  There is life beyond Facebook.  Really.

As I said, Sir X and I kept communicating even after I bailed on the rendezvous in part four.  His response was unexpectedly warm and endearing.  He told me that he was disappointed but understood and to take all the time I needed to decide about seeing him, that he really wanted to see me and didn't want to lose contact with me, whether we had sex or not.  He has not made a false or wrong move with me.  As we kept talking, he shared more about himself, his marriage and his sex life.  I need to protect his privacy, so I can't report any of that.  But I can tell you that what he shared made me understand that he needs me as much as I need him.

I have faced my demon.  I hate the idea that his wife, should she discover our affair, will be the one who decides it is over.  Ideally, he and I should make that decision.  In reality, if she finds out, she will.  I don't like that, but I have accepted it.  Beyond all reason, I want him.  I want to experience sex in a new way with him. 

When I opened the first photo he sent me--a torso shot of him seated bare-chested in a chair, jeans unsnapped but nothing showing--I wanted to crawl into his lap, swirl that chest hair into wet curls with my tongue, lick my way down that strip of belly hair....and find his cock.  More, I wanted him to dominate me.  Moreover, I knew that he could.

As I am getting to know him better, I sense that he is the right combination of repressed dominant and genuine good guy I desire.  He is smart and funny and has no idea how sweet and lovable he is--but the electric undercurrent is there.  I can submit to him.  He will teach me the pleasure of pain and I will thrill to his pleasure in giving me that pain.  Something inside each of us needs to be split open; and we are the man and the woman who can do that for the other.  We both crave intensity.

I recognized that immediately in his photo.  Nothing in my interaction with him has made me feel differently.  I just had to overcome the power wife issue and accept that he and I don't control time, but we can make the most of whatever time we have.

I sent him this email:

"I am sitting in an editorial meeting and suddenly I think about the video you sent.  Your cock spurting gloriously.  I can taste you cum in my mouth.  I can feel it like healing balm as you massage it into my throbbing nipples.

"I imagine our first time.  You tell me, 'I have to give you a lesson in obediance so you will never cancel a date again.'  Roughly, you kiss my mouth, sucking and biting my lips, fucking me with you tongue as you manhandle my nipples, twisting, squeezing, pushing and pulling them.  I moan into your mouth.  You twist harder.  I gasp.  Keeping one nipple firmly in your hard grasp, you lower your mouth to the other and tease it with your teeth, grazing it, sucking, then suddenly biting.

"You knead both breasts, hard.  I am breathing hard and sweating.  You stop and I think it is over, but you fasten the clover clamps on my aching nipples, tugging the chain to increase the tension.  'Don't cry out," you order.  I wince, but I do not cry.

"'Get into the rear entry postion with you ass up high,' you command.  I hear you open the lube and feel the cool wetness pressed inside my anus and I know what is coming next.  Trembling, I push back against you.  In two, short searing strokes you are inside me.  You are in no hurry, taking your time with each slow deep stroke, pulling almost out, before pushing in again as deep as you can go.  Tugging the chain once more, you want me to feel each stroke; and I do.  I thrill to the little grunts of pleasure you make as you thrust as deeply as you can into me.

"I am weak and dizzy with the need to come but you won't let me touch my clit.  You remove the nipple clamps and pain shoots from my nipples into my breasts and throughout my body.  I do not cry out, but my gutteral groan is primal.  'Come on my cock in your ass' you order, fucking me hard and fast, fucking my ass like it's never been fucked.  I see the whole world in red and sweat.  And I come.  As you reach your own orgasm, you put you hands in my pussy and massage my clit and I come again and again and again."

And he wrote back, "oh, hell, yes, oh, yes."

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime.

 

 

IT'S KIMMIE WEDNESDAY: Reputation, Part Eight--(And this is the hottest anal erotica ever)

Oh, my, just when you think things can't get any hotter in Kimmie's bedroom--she kicks it up another notch.  As one of my friends is fond of saying, "A Kimmie story leaves me damp and fluttery."  Under the influence of recently having read a chapter of "Reputation", she came on to her UPS guy.  Yes, she was reduced to a Penthouse Forum cliche....

 

Withut further ado and much pride and pleasure, here's SexyPrime's own Kimmie:

 

 

 

 

REPUTATION, Part Eight

His hand on her back made her feel even lower. The picture in her mind showed him leaning over her backside, that hand propped on her tailbone for support as his other hand did its dirty work. It was like he was doing some mundane, trivial task like picking up a piece of paper from the floor or grabbing something from the bottom shelf. She shuddered to think that he could see her naughtiest, most private of places – or worse yet, that he might be purposefully looking. She could feel her own wet desire spread up her ass and down her legs, so she could imagine that it was slick and slippery back there, and if her ass was opened around his fingers…

 

Another moan escaped as he pushed in extra hard this time, his thick knuckles shoved against her whore ass. “You like that, don’t you?” he murmured, but all she could do was moan. She did like it. She loved it. Some cloudy part of her brain was still trying to tell her that it wasn’t right, that it was dirty and wrong and if anyone knew it would be bad. But the delicious sensations his fingers were giving her were causing the message to fade like an early-morning fog burning off quickly in the light of the sun.

 

He loved her in this position. They spent enough time around each other at social functions for him to know how proper she was, how appropriate and correct she maintained herself – with her clothes on, that is, he grinned to himself. There was no gossip about her, she never got publically drunk and made a fool of herself or carried on with inappropriate men. She was always a lady. Never prim or prudish, but always a lady.

 

Until he got her alone. Somehow, someway, he had done everything right to get this fine lady to drop her guard with him. He wasn’t questioning it. From the first moment all those months ago when he’d gone to kiss her cheek and she gave him her lips instead, she had surprised him with how open and butt-fucking-wild she was behind that ladylike façade. He’d asked her once, in a moment of weakness, why him. She had said something about trust and confidence and good kissing, but he didn’t really understand. All he knew was that she was a treat, a treasure, and he wanted her all for himself. There were moments, like right now, that he wanted to shout to the world that he had this woman upside down and begging for him, but he would never do it. She was just too special, and it seemed that she felt the same way about him.

 

He took his free hand off her back and reached between her legs. Gently, so gently, he grabbed her clit and lightly rolled it between his thumb and first finger while his other hand was still busy going in and out. She made a noise like he had never heard before. Her fingers twisted into the sheets. Apparently this was a good thing. He continued to roll that naughty bit of her back and forth slowly, then sunk his fingers into her pussy.

 

“Oh god, please fuck me!” she suddenly yelled. She could not take any more. His fingers on her clit and the ones inside of her had her on the edge of something disastrously huge. She wanted, needed, his cock inside her right now. He pulled his fingers out of her ass and she felt suddenly empty, which only made her want him more. He grabbed her hips and shoved his beautiful cock into her pussy hard, fucking her fast and deep like he knew she needed it. She let her face fall back into the bed, her eyes shut tightly as her brain became her body again. She felt everything, every inch of him rubbing and filling every inch of her, slamming into the back of her pussy.

 

Then he pulled out. She mewed in protest, no words in her head to voice her objection. Why would he stop? She wanted him back inside of her, filling her and fucking her. Then she realized. She heard the snap of a bottle opening and the cool drip of lube ooze down her crack. He was about to fuck her ass. She burrowed her face down into the bed. Oh yes yes yes yes.

 

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime.

 

HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR ASS MAN?: Booty and the Books

 

Photo Credit:  Cleis Press

 

A copy of bottoms up, spanking good stories edited by Rachel Kramer Bussell (Cleis Press), was lying on top of my book pile.   Rachel puts together the best anthologies of erotica.  She won the Gold at the IPPY (Independent Publishing Book Awards) this year.  (Congrats, Rachel!)  The spanking books have particularly sexy covers.  Whether you’re into spanking or not—and I’m not—the books are lush and intriguing; and if you’re like me, you can get aroused by things you don’t necessarily want to do. 

But this is not a how-to guide.  In most of the stories, someone is whacking the hell out of an ass, male or female.  Fine in fantasy, Ouch! In real life.  You can administer an erotic spanking without leaving the recipient bruised and battered.  Read "How To Spank Your Lover."

In between spanking stories, I read emails.  A surprising number of them were ass-oriented this week.    Spanking.  Anal intercourse.  

 

That reminded me of another book in my pile:  The Anal Sex Positions Guide by Tristan Taormino (Quiver Books).  Tristan is the expert on this subject.  She answers that question, What would you take to a desert island?” with “Lube, lube, lube.”

Tristan has great advice for any heterosexual couple, whether they’re exploring the idea of anal intercourse—or looking for new positions to do it in.  

The best (and probably the only) literary erotic account of anal intercourse is, of course, Toni Bentley’s classic, The Surrender, about her intense and “transcendent”, mostly anal affair with the A-man.  They did it 298 times.  She found God.

From the book:

"Vertical fucking.  Upside down, legs over my head, knees by my ears, ass up, he perches over me like an acrobat and points his cock down into me.  He thrusts downward to Earth’s center, and I am grounded.  I point upward, outward to the sky, to the Milky Way, to heaven’s gate, and I see clearly between my legs his cock pumping like a piston.  Angle is everything.”

She was a ballerina who danced with George Ballanchine’s New York City Ballet for ten years.  Thus the flexibility and probably the high tolerance for pain.

In the space of less than a generation, heterosexual anal sex has gone from “taboo” to something most couples try at least once.  Shockingly, many men push for it the first time they have sex with a woman—and/or, attempt to “just slip it in” like (presumably, but not really) it’s done in porn films.  Recently, I’ve had emails from two Indian men, strangers, who said they were coming to the U.S. and want to have anal sex with me.  Gentlemen—that is so not appealing.

Many women try anal sex and hate it.  Some like it so much they do it with every partner.  Most of us have an Ass Man, the guy to whom you surrender your ass and find enjoyment in doing so.  I had mine.  He was skilled and patient—and the orgasms were astounding in their intensity.  (We didn't do it 298 times.)

But I haven’t wanted to do it with anyone else since him—especially not with guys who want anal sex before they even buy you a glass of champagne.

Now I wonder if I should have let him spank me too.

 

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime 

 

 

 

 

Porn, Christie Brinkley's Husband--and More On Anal Sex

Photo Credit:  "Woman With Pearls and Stockings" on Photobucket

 

Two unrelated events seem related to me.  I'm not suggesting a cosmic convergence.  But think on this:

First, Christie Brinkley, celeb model, plans--according to everybody's favorite tabloid newspaper, The New York Post--to "slam" her philandering soon-to-be ex-husband Peter Cook with charges that he was into Internet porn, including "trolling" swingers sites.  (Internet porn is cited in up to 40% of divorce cases today, but who knows what that really means?  Has a fondness for/"addiction" to porn kept the husband from giving the wife her conjugal rights?  Or is the charge a nice handle for the frying pan she is using to clobber him over the head?  Who really knows?)

Second, some women and a man have responded to my post "How Much Should Anal Intercourse Hurt?" with confusion.

"You've written about anal intercourse in a positive way in your books," one woman e-mailed me.  "What happened?"

From a man who has been a "fan" since the 90s when I wrote about my sex life for Penthouse Forum (and I am not at all sure how I feel about his remaining a "fan" and his ability to keep finding me):  "You wrote one of the most arousing pieces on anal intercourse I've ever read.  Don't you do that anymore?"

Here is how the two events are related:  Sex was not an extreme sport (except for the very few) in those bygone days of ten or fifteen years ago.  The porn that men (even men married to gorgeous women) are watching now is hard-core beyond anything most of us who were very knowledgeable about the sex industry might have predicted.  Huge dicks plunging routinely into little female anuses.  Double anal penetration.  And more.  Worse, young men seem to think that this is how it's done in the real world.

Sociologically, porn has surely helped create a climate in which men expect anal sex almost immediately from a new lover.  (No, no, no, Babes!  Remember:  the ass is a special gift.  Scroll down to the original post to see why.)

Yes, I did write about experiencing anal sex, specifically with one lover.  (I've only had anal intercourse with two men in my life!)  It was incredibly exciting.  But here's why:  While he was very nicely endowed, he was not porn-star humongous; he carefully prepared me for the event; and we did not do this early in the relationship.

I met JDK in a Philadelphia hotel where he worked in management and I was a pampered VIP guest, due to my working relationship with the owner.  He was adorable, a young Steven Spielberg.  I was 39, isolated from my regular life and horny.  We rendezvoused in one of the hotel bars every day at five for champagne and flirtation.  When I found out that he was only 23!--I said, OH, NO, to his advances.  But then...  We went to a Pearl Harbor Day party in Center City (where most of the guests could have been my biological children) and I kicked off my stiletto pump and ran one foot up his leg....and we became lovers.

We lived together in Manhattan for a few years.  He was one of the managers at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel; and the champagne was higher quality.  I wrote an article about his penis called "The Perfect Penis" that was syndicated world-wide.  When he pushed for anal intercourse, I could hardly refuse.

After arousing me to the point of orgasm with his mouth and hand--then pulling back-- again and again until I was SO ready, he lovingly lubricated my anus using first one, now two and three fingers.  Then he positioned me in a variation of the classic rear entry pose:  Ass elevated, leaning forward on my elbows so that my chest was on the bed.  He stood behind me.  That position worked for us though it would not for everyone. 

I felt erotic dread in the pit of my stomach, like desire and fear mingling together, settling there momentarily before moving down.   The head of his penis pushed against my virginal anal opening; and I wanted/didn't want him to keep going.  I groaned when he pushed inside.  He thrust slowly at first.  Yes, it hurt so good.  I wanted it.  Wanted the thrusting.  I'd never felt so vulnerable and submissive as I did then--and I wanted more of that feeling.

After a certain point, he stopped moving carefully and thrust deeply and vigorously into me.  I gasped with the pain/pleasure.  Yes, it was much more pleasure than pain.

Stroking my clit, I had one of the most intense orgasms of my life.  I felt truly claimed.  Possessed. Owned, for the moment at least, by this man.

How does that differ from the porn version?

He cared about me.  And moved me along an erotic path culminating in vigorous anal thrusting, not starting there.  He wanted my pleasure.  That allowed me to be as submissive as a woman can be--and love it.

It also helps that he wasn't hung like a porn star.  A robust seven inches and nicely thick, his penis was perfect, in its ability to get hard quickly, sustain erection, come back again for more.  We lived together for more than three years and continued to fuck even after we'd split and he was with someone else, a sweet young thing who could not understand his ongoing involvement with me.  I can't recall ever seeing his penis flaccid though surely it must have been.

Babes, don't write off the Cougar experience if you haven't tried it.

Regarding anal intercourse:  It's not like you see it on DVD.

copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime 

How much should anal intercourse hurt?

Photo Credit:  "Rose" by Keefers on Photobucket

 That's a question I've been getting a lot lately from young women.

There is a big difference between "hurts so good" and "Omigod, I can't stand the pain!"

Anal intercourse is the most popular sex act on porn DVDs.  Women take huge dicks up the ass with seemingly no preparation.  Men thrust as vigorously as they do in vaginal intercourse.  We are supposed to believe that a good time is had by all.  (If you listen to the films closely, however, as I did recently in researching this question, you will notice:  Many of the women are hurting; that is pain in their "ohhhs" and "ahhhs".)

First, re. the preparation:

The night before a shoot, the actress gives herself one or more enemas.  She has no solid food until after shooting.  At least an hour before, she inserts a heavily lubricated butt plug to stretch her anal opening.  Before the camera rolls, she uses a small rectal syringe to shoot up more lube.

Now she's ready for "spontaneous" anal sex.  He, of course, doesn't wear a condom, leaving her open to HIV risk and him to contracting a UTI, urinary tract infection from the bacteria in the anus.  He will pass the UTI to her when he pulls out of her anus and inserts his penis into her vagina--as he typically does in porn filming.

And it still hurts if she's taking in a very large penis. 

You will hurt too if you try to force something up there that just won't fit.  We all have a maximum diameter.  Stretch your anus and connecting intestine beyond that and you feel pain.  Keep stretching--and you will experience tissue damage.

Tissue damage--tearing and bleeding--dramatically increases your HIV risk.  HIV is contracted two  ways:  blood to blood transmission or semen to blood transmission.  If you keep stretching and damaging those tissues, you may also discover that you "leak" fecal matter at inconvenient times, like when you are not sitting on a toilet.

All that said, anal sex can be a thrilling experience-- when you prepare for it, your partner wears an anal condom and respects your limits for depth of penetration and thrusting, and you can accomodate his penis.

Young women tell me that men expect anal intercourse the first or second time they have sex.  Oh, no.  The ass is a special treat, Babes.  You don't offer it up to strangers, but only to someone you know and trust to care if you're in pain--some guy who plans to be around and doesn't want to see you leaving track marks in your silky panties.

Check out Tristan Taormino's website and books.  Send your guys there too.  Do you know how many young men "learn" about sex from watching porn?  We need to tell them that they are learning some things wrong.

 

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