Photo Credit: "Orgasm" on Photobucket
The schedule is hereby abandoned. Regular readers know that I am focusing on finishing my last book and spending as much time as possible with family and closest friends. I will blog sporadically when I can’t resist sharing something—like this new orgasm study—with you.
I hope you are enjoying the holiday season—and know that I miss blogging for you.
Research conducted at the HIV Centre for Clinical and Behavioral Studies at Columbia University found a quantitative link between suspicions of infidelity to the likelihood of faking orgasm. Lead researcher Farnaz Kaighobadi said women often use The Fake to hold onto the relationship, not necessarily to protect his ego, the common explanation/excuse. She and her colleagues focused on that link in their work while it was ancillary in other studies.
According to science writer Stephanie Pappas in “Women fake orgasm to hold onto their men,” 23 November 2011, Live Science, Kaighobadi said, “One particular reason that emerges from a lot of studies is 'to keep my partner interested in this relationship,' or to prevent him from defecting [from] the relationship or 'leaving the relationship for another woman.’"
Of the woman surveyed, 54% said they had faked an orgasm at some point in their lives. That number is on the low end of the faking scale. Many report up to 80% of women have faked; and I would guess 90%.
To get her statistics, Kaighobadi distributed surveys to 453 women, ranging in age from 18 to 46, who had been in relationships for at least six months. The reported fakers were also more suspicious about their partners' fidelity than the women who said they hadn't faked. These women, the researchers concluded, were was also actively "mate-guarding”, a set of behaviors ranging from simply dressing up to keeping tabs on him by checking his email, text messages and social network accounts.
The researchers didn't ask how satisfied the women were with their sexual relationships Kaighobadi said, so the study concluded that it was ‘unknown whether faking orgasm is related to lower levels of satisfaction in bed.”
Isn’t it obvious that women who fake on a regular basis aren’t as satisfied as women who have orgasms?
That some women fake to hold their man’s gaze seems likely—but how effective is the ploy? Even if he believed in her orgasm, surely he must have found her lovemaking less than passionate.
So tell me, Babes, did you ever fake orgasm to hold onto your man? Did it work?
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Nope, never faked it once in 30 years of marriage. Haven't done it since my divorce either. If I don't get my cookie, he's not going to think I did. I see no reason for men to hold on to their ignorance about a woman's body and sexual response. And if he's too selfish or lazy to satisfy, we both need to know that too.
I have, however, found it difficult to ask for or insist on what I need. That's another topic.
Posted by: Reticula | December 28, 2011 at 09:13 AM
I've been married over 40 years and never felt the need to fake it.
The fact that I don't orgasm during sex is not entirely the fault of my husband either. He most always tries his best to give me one. Try as I might, I just cannot seem to "let go" enough to let it happen. I can count on one hand the times I've had an orgasm with my husband during sex. Each time I did, I shed tears of joy...and that freaked him out that something was wrong! Normally, I do have an orgasm after we finish; sometimes he helps me and sometimes I choose to do it myself. Either way I choose is OK with him.
While it would be nice to have an orgasm with my husband every time, my being unable to does not take away from our mutual enjoyment.
Posted by: Peg | December 28, 2011 at 02:16 PM