If you live, work or hang out on Manhattan's Lower East Side, you may have passed on the street a pretty brunette wearing fake elf ears walking (or carrying) her chihuahua dog. Asking the question, "Who/What the hell was that?" indicates that you are so uncool you don't even recognize the self-proclaimed Patron Saint of the Uncool and Voice of the Downtrodden and Tired: Reverend Jen. And if you are so uncool, are you not de facto one of her flock.
A mail order minister ordained by the Universal Life Church, Reverend Jen has an MFA in painting from Manhattan's School of Visual Arts. She is, among other things, a performance artist, painter, playwright, curator of The Troll Museum, and author of Live Nude Elf (Soft Skull Press), based on her years as a columnist for nerve.com. (You may also remember her as the Elf Queen in the underground porn flick, "Lord of the Cockrings." She has a varied career.)
I heard Jen read from Live Nude Elf at a sex writers panel held earlier this week at The Sex Museum. I digress just a minute to complain about the space allotted for this event: a narrow boxy room with harsh lighting and no air conditioning -- not even fans. Was the museum designed for masochists or meant to be used by the CIA for interrogating prisoners? In spite of the environment, the panel, Zak Smith, Jonathan Ames and Reverend Jen performed admirably well. After hearing Jen read a hilarious excerpt from her book, I knew I had to get her answers to seven questions for my readers.
Buy this book!
Seven Questions With Reverend Jen
1. Who came up with your book's title, Live Nude Elf, and what is the significance?
Originally the book was going to be called "I Did It for Science" which had been the name of my column, but Nerve owned that title so I couldn't use it. My editors at Soft Skull, my agent (Jonathan Ames) and I were scrambling to come up with a new title just a few days before it went to print. I said, "I can't think of anything!" and I jumped in the shower in order to de-stress. As I began to soap up my naked elf body the title popped into my head. Since I'm naked throughout a good 80% of the book and since I've been wearing prosthetic elf ears for most of my adult life, it seemed appropriate.
2. What motivated you to write about your sex life for nerve.com?
Ada Calhoun, who had interviewed me for a New York Magazine article about the Downtown performance scene, became an editor at Nerve. She suggested I pitch some stories to them, which I did. They then offered me the column and I was, financially, in no position to refuse.
3. Ah, yes, the financial motive -- my inspiration twenty years ago for writing a monthly column on my orgasms for Penthouse Forum. How did the writing affect your sex life?
When I started to write the column, I was in the midst of trying to "pull out" of a relationship that had become like Vietnam -- very messy. It was with a man who tried to control every aspect of my life and the column gave me the freedom to walk away, find new lovers and embark on the vaginal adventure of a lifetime. After all, it was my job! I also really embraced some of the things I learned along the way (g-spot orgasms and tantric sex in particular.)
4. Do you ever have trouble separating your public sex persona from the private person?
I think sometimes people read the columns and they think I'm just par-taying, fucking and drinking all day and night. The private me is actually one of the most disciplined artists on the planet. My first love is writing followed closely by fucking and drinking.
5. You've said that some of the comments people made on Nerve's website hurt your feelings. (People can be so mean on the internet where they are anonymous; I take care of them with the Delete button on my own blog.) Why did you read those comments?
Curiosity got the better of me, and while the majority of reader comments were positive, the negative comments were so personal and hostile, they shocked me. In retrospect, I realize they were the work of jealous haters. You know, some dude who hates women and is sitting in front of his computer in his underwear, surrounded by empty Chinese food takeout containers, feeling sorry for himself because he hasn't gotten laid in a decade, is not gonna take kindly to a fabulous strong woman writing with glee about how she sucked someone else's dick and had a great time doing it.
6. Yes, I also believe that the haters lead sad, lonely pathetic lives. What is sex like now that you don't write about it anymore?
Sex has taken on more of a mystical quality since the column ended. Even when it's kinky or a quickie, I'm still consciously giving and receiving energy as I learned to do in the tantric sexperiment. These days sex is my favorite psychedelic drug. Also sex is far more relaxing now that it's not on a deadline. (Though I should mention that I still write about sex plenty but I do so in laboriously constructed journal entries, which will remain under lock and key until the next book deal.)
7. What is the one thing that most people don't get about sex?
I think the notion that sex is a goal-oriented activity leads to a lot of crappy sex. Everyone is so busy trying to shoot loads or to get their partner to shoot loads, or to shoot loads at the same time as their partner or whatever that they forget that just feeling good is good enough. Sex is not brain surgery. It should be fun. Life is stressful. Sex should not be. And don't forget to be really nice to whoever it is you're about to fuck. Niceness is always in style.
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