Photo Credit: "New York City Color Splash" on Photobucket
Single and alone in the city for the holidays? Blame everything on "Sleepless in Seatle" or "Youve Got Mail" or "Runaway Bride." Without the influence of romantic comedies distorting our thinking, we could all be happy with someone like the old George Costanza character on "Seinfeld." We wouldn't expect any better.
As reported in the U.K. Daily Mailon December 16, psychologists in the Family and Personal Relationship Lab at Heriot-Watt University in Edinburg, Scotland, studied 40 romantic comedies from 1995 to 2005 and their effect on student volunteers. (The Mail dubbed this "The Notting Hill Effect" and also went to the source, Dr. Bjame Holmes, the lead doc in the study for quotes and confirmation--putting them ahead of everyone else having a good time writing about it.) The psychologists concluded: The films have led us to believe that our true love will know what we want without having to tell him and the sex will be perfect.
Romantic film devotees are more likely to believe in fate, destiny and predestined love.
I know enough about how research studies are carried out and results distorted in the headlines to tell you: Don't take this stuff too seriously. It's a fun read, like a Cosmo article, not science.
On the other hand, maybe I'm a good argument for their case. Sexually pragmatic, I know how to get my needs met and I don't have to be in love with the guy--though I do like to worship a good cock--and I'm not going to fall in love with him just because we have sex, even good sex. To connect emotionally beyond the sex acts, however, is difficult for me. Secretly, I do believe that my true lover will understand me without a seminar conducted by me. Yes, I am a hopeless romantic past my sell-by date, albeit one driven by a pragmatic clit.
And, yes, of course I am alone in the city for the holidays.
My cheap holiday thrill for you today: F the study and NetFlix a batch of romantic comedies, including the old B/W films. Wine, cheese, a box of tissues. Some chocolate truffles and cognac. That beats up cuddling with a George, even a rich one.
My favorite holiday romantic comedy is "Christmas in Connecticut," from 1945 starring Barbara Stanwyck. If you haven't seen it, add it to your pile.
When I was growing up, that film was on TV every holiday season; I watched it every year with my late mother and, in more recent years, with my late sister Ellen, my second mother who was 20 when I was born. Ellen, by the way, eloped to get married when she was 21. She had known her husband all of six weeks--and they'd never had sex. Their marriage lasted her lifetime; and they were one of the happiest couples I've ever known. I never heard her use phrases like "communication is the most important thing" or "work on the relationship."
Blame the movies. Or blame my sister. I am alone.
copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime
My name is Shawn & I am a 44 year old married woman & mother of 5, 2 by heart & 3 by birth. That's another story in & of itself! Susan has been a part of my life for just over 13 years now...since marrying her nephew! It's kinda' cool having her for an aunt, even if it is only by marriage. I've never responded to her columns or blogs, but felt it was a good time to finally do so! I have had 13 good years with Harry, her nephew, & I love him more with each day. But, like his parents, communication is not a major part of our marriage! I too watch those movies & then look over at Harry & think, "Why aren't we that way?" Do I blame him? Do I blame his parents? Nah, blaming never does any good any hoo! I too have fantasies of him walking in the door, a dozen roses in his arms, a sexy grin on his face & sweeping me into his arms & knocking my proverbial socks off! He's no George either! He occasionally brings me a rose or a small flower bundle from the quick store on his way home & gives me a quick peck on the cheek. But I know he loves me & he has proven it time & time again in many different ways! I have this advice for all of us ladies, advice that I have shared with my own daughter, Iva,...Prince Charming is for Cinderella, the Harry's of the world are for us mere mortal women &, if we give them the chance, they can be more than Prince Charming could ever hope to be! But do I still "wish" for that perfect romantic life...Hell yes! Afterall, I was raised on Disney movies! So, even though I won't be on that couch with Aunt Susan, a part of me will be! So there had better be Godiva Chocolates and Puffs as the others make my nose red, Lady! Happy Holidays to all of us with a "Prince Charming" in our minds but not in our lives!
Posted by: Shawn | December 23, 2008 at 02:14 PM
Shawn, you are the best! Thanks for writing. My wonderful nephew is lucky to have you at his side.
Love, S
Posted by: Susan Crain Bakos | December 23, 2008 at 11:53 PM