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November 21, 2008


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steven otero

Bi women rule. At all the Poly events I have been to the women are def Bi and are calling the shots. The men with women there are arm candy.

Susan Crain Bakos

I love it! Men can now be described as "arm candy" too. Thanks for your comment....very insightful.


I agree: bisexual behavior in women is not all about pleasing the guy. From my experience, as the invited second female into a straight relationship (at least a couple times), the wife or girlfriend calls the shots. She declares the rules (best if the couple communicates well before this adventure starts); she's the one who wants to try a new experience (and, of course the hubby/beau is all for it). I do know of a woman who allowed a second female into the scene because her boyfriend wanted the fun...but it didn't turn out to be a party for her. Personally, I wouldn't join in unless it was the gal's strong desire. Yes, there are certainly "straight" women in relationships out there who are bi-curous and not afraid to make the moves when they know there's a prospective respectful, open-minded and attractive female in the room. In fact, often times, they only allow their fellas to watch...

Susan Crain Bakos

Thanks for writing! I've had a lot of emails from bisexual women who agree with you. Some told me that they found Palagia's comment "insulting" because it diminished their sexuality to something that's only all about men. I know she didn't meant to insult anyone. Palagis is a great champion of female sexual empowerment. She was merely reporting what some women who attend her erotic parties told her: they want a guy/guy/girl threesome. Male bisexuality is not as socially desirable as female sexuality; and that is a fair subject to address.


I am open about being Bi with people I know, but very private about it otherwise, and the reason is because it's the kink du jour. Attention whores kiss each other in clubs every night of the week and Katy Perry sings about it and teenagers think it's cool.

I don't have sex with other women because it's cool. I do it because I'm drawn to do it and I love it. I love the taste of them, the feel of them and the way they touch. I love their small, delicate hands and soft, smooth skin.

I also love the strong hard paws of a man. I love a good penis, a hairy chest and the deep masculine smell of a man and getting fucked so hard I can't breathe.

I have threesomes, but I tend to feel territorial about the other girl. I want her to myself, at least at first. I want to get to know her body before I share it with a man who will most likely not appreciate her in the same way I do. Which isn't bad, it's just the difference between a man and sex and me and sex.

I'm not insulted by Palagia's comments - I feel bad for the women with whom she's spoken who aren't getting what they want and doing what they don't really want to do.

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