Ali Abdullah is a remarkable young man. Not yet 25, he has been actively involved in charitable works for years. His blog Map'nOut is a fun and informative read in a "young man about Harlem" style. He reports on fashion, sports, Hip Hop events and other activities--and pokes some fun at politicians. But his soul is in his good works. Ali writes about charity events he attends, bringing more attention to the causes. His own organization, Fifth Avenue Sports League, sponsors basketball competition for both genders and brings in professional athletes and business and community leaders to mentor young people.
Ali has soul in every sense of the word. When I asked him to comment on Sex and the Single Black Men, I knew he would respond openly, honestly, with heart--and a good dose of humor.
Here is Ali:
Q. There are so many myths/beliefs about black male sexuality. (Myths/beliefs like: black men have bigger penises; black men won't go down on a woman; black men can't be monogamous; black men are rough in bed; black men don't like foreplay or public displays of affection.) What do you think is the biggest misconception?
A. I have to go with “black men won't go down on a woman” Why? This is something that I always highlighted since my early days of studying sex. Now, it’s a different story!
Q. Once I wrote an essay in which I said that black men after 40 are sexier than white men--because while men seem to lose their sexual edge. Wow! Did I get slammed for that. What do you think about the differences in male sexuality determined by age and/or race?
A. Honestly, age should never be a factor for physical attraction or when it comes to getting some action! (Unless your partner is underage) However, there should be more than just a physical attraction when it comes to sex at the age of 40. Now, if you put this in my shoes, the only thing I will look down on is if she’s grey haired!
Q. Black women tell me that black men don't want to commit, that they don't want to take their lovers out, but want a woman to be home waiting for them to show up for a good meal and sex. Truth in that? Or not?
A. Truth be told, I am 23yrs old and I have never been in a relationship, but I’ve treated sisters out plenty of times (will acknowledge) and I understand what is required to make a relationship work…now the catch is finding the ideal partner. Additionally, I am a simple guy, and all I expect my woman to do is be loyal, honest, cool and down for the Abdullah experience! I will hire a chef to handle meal duties, or as a couple we will cook together, because as we all know, Ali has the recipe.
Q. What do you find the sexiest qualities in a woman?
A. 1 hard worker 2 sporty appearance 3 confidence 4 discipline 5 down to earth (can go on a roller coaster)
Q. What have you experienced or observed about interracial sexual liaisons?
A. Well, the best way for me to answer this question is, I’ve picked different fruit from the tree….and they all have been ‘fresh’! The wider the variety the better….thanks to the creation of fruit salads!
Q. How would you describe the sexual scene in Harlem?
A. TERRIBLE! This question requires serious attention…But, from what I see, sisters are confused on what kind of guy they are looking for. In addition, everything now-a-days is about making a fashion statement. 70% of Harlem couples are pretending to be someone that they aren’t, plus there is a large percentage of individuals who are not independent…It seems that most Harlem citizens are impressed by someone wearing Gucci shoes…but don’t look at the fact that these are the same people living with their parents/families…Come on, let’s get real! But as I mentioned earlier, this question is very complicated to breakdown.
Q. What was the best sex you ever had?
A. Ummmm, the first time my bed arrived into my place. This particular night, the stage was set for me to perform….since then, I have been nominated for every award, from the TONY to the ACADEMY! The freshness of the mattress enhanced my performance.
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He is not that black.
Posted by: Bobby | July 27, 2009 at 07:38 AM