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April 08, 2008


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Love the blog title - sexy and sophiscated.


I am 25, and my “fiance” has admitted to having a porn addiction, has said he needed it to be more hardcore as he got older and I have found videos of guys shoving brooms and nerf footballs into women’s vaginas. I think it can be a bigger problem than a lot of women realize. It is like a secret world that he separates from me, and he doesn’t seem sexually attracted to me in the slightest, or anyone for that matter. He prefers porn and anal (I didn’t know this until 2 years into our relationship). I told him from the very beginning I would never do that and he tried “the slip” once (not a slip so much as trying to ram it in) and I punched him in the face. I know that sounds harsh and I have never hit anyone before but I felt so violated, disrespected, and to be honest, I felt like he raped me. It was very painful and I am glad I reacted the way I did. Is it a violation? Do all men expect a woman to now-and-then accept anal penetration? The biggest question is, if that is what he really wants in bed, do I suck it up and take it to keep us together or move on and let our 4 year relationship kick the bucket?


My opinion of your situation, Elizabeth, is that you have every right to feel violated and angry; you said no, and your partner did not respect your decision. I don't think I would be able to handle being treated as second rate to porn participants, or expected to do anything that I am not comfortable with in a relationship.

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