What is the new sexuality?
Women are in the midst of our own private sexual revolution. Bi-Girls rule the downtown scene and prevail at sex clubs and sex parties where the single female is sought after by many couples. Cougars are on the prowl; and we are thought to be sexy and sophisticated while older guys after Kittens are old guys chasing young girls. Women have amazing new sex toys, including vibes so beautiful, they are object d'art.
Yet Palagia sounded a dissenting note when she said, "The female fantasy is not girl-on-girl. Women admit to me that they fantasize having two guys but do it with another girl to please their men."
I don't think all bisexual women are doing it to please men. For years, swingers have been telling me that the bisexual wife calls the shots--and that women who aren't bisexual usually aren't enthusiastic about swing parties. Moreover, girls tell me that they like playing with other girls--OR go there in their disappointment with boyfriends, not to please them.
(Palagia also said that, in her thirties, she is now "tired of teaching men" and understands why so many women give up on them, at least for a while.)
Here is a common scenario: Two twentysomething editors I know, roommates, fell into one another's drunken arms one night, after weeping/commiserating over their failed relationships. They had sex, declared themselves lesbians, were advertising for "a boy to join us in a threesome" on craigslist within three months. They told me about their need for cock in a crowded, noisy bar one night.
"Why do we want cock?" and "Why do we need cock?" they kept asking me. "We love each other! We're happy together! Why do we want cock?"
I answered loudly: "Because cocks are so much fun to play with!" The bar grew silent; our drinks were free the rest of the night.
In another three months, the girls were iving in separate countries. One is in a relationship with a man; the other has remained happily on the Sapphic path.
I don't think bisexual behavior in women is all about pleasing the guy. But what do the rest of you think?
By the way, I read on Page Six in The New York Post today that Lindsey Lohan and her GF Samantha Ronson are fighting. Rumors have her "going straight back to guys" if the two split. Now what do you think about that?
The other part of the new sexuality, the evolution of men--we'll discuss another day.
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