"Monogamy is failing men.
"Not only is it failing them, but it's a 'socially compelled sexual incarceration' that can lead to a life of anger and contempt, or so says Eric Anderson, an American sociologist at England's University of Winchester," from "Why Men Cheat" by Vicki Larson on The Huffington Post.
My pal Steven Otero sent me the link to this article examining Anderson's book, The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating (Oxford University Press.) I'd scanned the book and found his conclusions reached in a study of 120 undergraduate men alternately disappointing and annoying. What do young men know about long-term monogamy? But his analysis of monogamism, as reported by Larson, is compelling. Too bad he includes women late in the story.
I posit that monogamy is just as hard, if not more so, on women than men
People have been wrestling with the monogamy questions since society first decreed, Thou shalt not cheat on thy spouse. Men can still have extramarital affairs with less consequences than women can. We are still judged more harsly for our sexual behavior. Larson notes that monogamy may be bad for men, but cheating has been good for them. If the affair is undetected, they have exciting, illicit sex with the lover and stability and loving commitment with the wife. (Can't the cheating wife enjoy the same benefits?)
Numerous studies have found women tire of monogamy faster than men do. Women shut down when the sex becomes too routine and boring; men complain about it but they still want to get laid. Generally women under-report extramarital affairs. But studies and surveys are beginning to show cheating parity developing between the genders--with a British study last year suggesting women may cheat more. Read my 2009 post: "Do women cheat more than men?"
Monogamy is failing women too.
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