She identifies herself as "a 37 year old married white girl." Her answers to the Taboo Sex Survey were so sexy, funny, surprising, audacious, provocative--and flat-out good reading--that I had to reprint the entire email letter, un-edited. Here it is:
Photo Credit: "Masked Woman" by vjones on Photobucket
"What sexual acts are taboo?
"Anal intercourse? Only taboo with a really large cock, which my husband has, sadly for him. We've done it before, but while it was good in the moment, it was uncomfortable enough in the ensuing days to become taboo in our house. Now, for lovers with more reasonable sized penises, it's negotiable. I had one lover with whom the first, last and only time we had anal sex, the sheets (and we) got rather nasty, so never again. He seemed fine with it, but I wasn't. Since I can't see what's going on, I think if it gets messy he ought to mention it, especially since we were in a hotel. I felt so bad for the cleaning lady.
"One lover also let me bleed all over hotel sheets. We'd been playing for an hour or so with me face down. I assumed I was just wet because he was skilled with his fingers, but then... no. It was my period. Blood everywhere. What an asshole. That was the end for him. I had to put up with him for the rest of that weekend but then that was it.
"And for me, it's the touching around the anal area that's arousing, not the penetration or thrusting itself. So it's not taboo for me, but I'm not really into it.
"Golden showers? Excrement has no part in sexual relations. Period. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people? What happened to someone that they get turned on by someone excreting on them? What kind of childhood do these people have?
"Bondage? Fun! Definitely not taboo, at least as far as I feel safe in it. Just the idea is arousing for me. Sometimes my lover will tipsily wrap his belt or tie around my wrists and miss actually tying it, and even that is lovely. Sometimes I like the feeling that what's happening to me is beyond my control, that I'm totally not responsible for the naughty, nasty things that I'm allowing to be done to me - because I'm a good girl, and good girls don't do those things, much less enjoy them and encourage them, or ask for them. Or beg, if I'm forced to beg for it...
"Spanking? Delicious! Not at ALL taboo! Necessary. I don't get enough of it. My husband says he doesn't have it in him. He's watched me spank women that we've shared and he doesn't mind that, but has told me he'll leave all that up to me. So it's only those very, very rare moments with my lover, who adores my ass and all the things I let him do to it, that I get all the spanking that I want. He'll beat me beautifully, starting early in the evening with a quick smack here and there to remind me of what's to come later. There've been a few times when we've been drinking a little harder than normal when he's lit my ass up before we even get to the bedroom... ah, the memories! He's so good with it. He hurts me, but never over the edge into true violence and always under control. It's an art with him and I admire him so much for that. In fact, right now I miss him so much as my body is remembering everything he's done to me as I write...
"BDSM? Light only for me... I experience inner terror just seeing or reading about people who get into choking and suffocation and the like. For me, sex is a celebration of life, not a way to play with death. I can kind of see how fear can escalate the emotional ride, but I'm talking about, "Holy shit, did you see how close the cab came to hitting that guy?" not "Holy shit, I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't br..."
"That being said, there are some images that I find arousing for sure, images of acts in which I would never engage, but that stir my loins to see. One time I saw a picture of a woman in the stocks. Her head, hands and legs from the knees down were in the front, leaving her back and ass naked and exposed with her thighs slightly parted in the back. I get aroused by the idea of being treated like an object, (in a safe environment with someone I feel safe with,) so that image was incredibly hot to me. However, I feel pretty certain that I wouldn't enjoy what was being done to her in real life.
"I also like porn with soft-core rape fantasies and huge round glass butt plugs. It's the power play that intrigues me rather than the pain, though. Although I so like a little pain. My lover bites me so hard sometimes that I think I'm going to cry, but right when I get to that edge he backs off. And that turns me on even more.
"Paying for sex? I've thought about it. I don't think it's taboo. I pay good money for my masseuse to rub all my sore spots, so paying someone to rub some of my other spots wouldn't be much of a stretch for me. I'd like to just lay there and have someone do everything that I want them to do to me with no judgment or hesitation or day-after issues. However, I've managed to find that in my lover, so no need to pay for it right now in my life. When I no longer have access to him, anything is possible. I think I'd be skeevy about penetration, though.
"Other?
"How often do you engage in any of these taboo behaviors? As often as I get access to my lover. Sometimes a couple of times a month. Right now, not in the last six months. He's going to be in trouble when I finally get my hands on him again.
Sex Partners
"Is interracial sex taboo? Hell no. I've had sex with black men, Asian men, Spanish men and probably others that I've forgotten by now. A fine man is a fine man, period. Fuck him.
"Adultery? no, as long as everyone keeps their traps shut. It can be a big risk, but not taboo.
"Boss or subordinate? yes. I've been very attracted to several men for whom I've worked, but I won't mess with them while they write my checks.
"Sex with your cousin? nah Brother’s wife? yes Best friend’s girlfriend? yes Son’s best friend? yes
"A threesome? No, not at all taboo. I think that's like third base for this new generation, isn't it? Like adultery, there's a risk involved because if two of the people in the threesome are a couple, there can be a lot of expectations to manage. Each person has their idea of what it's going to be, and each person has their ideas about the other two people both separately and together, so it can become a big mess the morning after without good prep. But not taboo. Not at all.
"One of my favorite threesome was at my lover's going-away party. We "went hunting" together for girls in the past, but this night there was one girl he wanted, and he wanted her with us together. She was half black, half Eskimo and a fitness model and she was gorgeous. He could get any girl he wanted, but this one had gotten into his head as out of his league, so he was crazy about getting her. We each stalked her covertly at the party, with a fellting caress here and a lingering touch there, until finally he told her that he wanted her. And that he and I were a package deal. She stared at us for a moment and said, "We'll see..." which to both of our experienced ears was, "Yes." Right then and there, in the middle of the party with a house full of people, he led her to his room and I closed the door behind us. She started calling us predators, but she stayed right where she was and enjoyed herself thoroughly. It was the hunt with my lover that was the most fun for me - our most successful "kill" yet, and the perfect present to send him on his way to New York.
"Group sex? Not taboo. Again, can be lots of expectations to manage, but if everyone's on the same page, it can be lots of fun. I'm not much into it anymore, but there was one summer with some neighbors where the four of us were constantly having sex together. We thought we were very circumspect, but years later, another neighbor told me that when they'd moved in, someone told them that we were swingers. I have to assume that we weren't as careful as we thought we'd been! Or, that someone could have been stone cold lying just to be an ass. Who knows.
"Sex with a much younger or older partner? Nope. Not taboo. I've had sex with men half my age and half again as old as I am and I'd do either one again. My little cub was so cute... When I wouldn't tell him my name or give him my number, he got this look of understanding and loss on his face all at the same time - "You mean this is only a one-time deal?" Poor baby! He was so sad! His seduction was clumsy but we had fun anyway. One time was enough.
"Have you violated your own partner taboos—and with whom? I think my only partner taboo is any of my friends' sons. My brothers aren't married and even if they were, they wouldn't be marrying anyone for whom it would be an option for me anyway, and I don't have sons of my own, so there's no issue there, either. So no. No broken taboos here.
Sex Places
"Is public sex taboo? I don't think it's taboo, but it doesn't excite me. Groping under the table at dinner is fun, though.
"Which places are most taboo? Anywhere there are children.
"Is doing it at your parents’ house taboo? No, but I haven't done that in almost twenty years. Not taboo, but not exciting, either.
"In a friend’s bed? Nah, go for it. But keep it clean or clean it up after. Don't be an ass.
"Your marriage bed with someone else? it's a bed, not a sacred alter.
"Your kid’s bed? Okay, that is just disgusting. That being said, I had sex on a friend's kid's bed when I was 18 or 19 and drunk off my ass. Apparently, it didn't matter to me then.
"Have you violated any of these taboos?
The Big Questions
"Is taboo sex hotter? not for me... what's hot for me is feeling safe with someone I trust to be myself and who I can ask for what I want without worrying about judgement or repercussions
"What taboo won’t you violate? Anything I've said here that's taboo is taboo for me, period. Anything else I will or have tried.
"Or relish—or regret having violated? When I was younger, I always said no anal sex because that's an out-hole, not an in-hole. I'm glad I relaxed on that one. Figuratively AND literally!
"Do you keep pushing the taboo envelope? As long as it's what I consider safe, it's not taboo. So no."
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