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“Oh, I am so disappointed in Sexy Beast. He is just like my husband. Ugh,” from a female reader.
“The poor bastard. He got caught—and it could have been so easily avoided, right? You’re nailing him because he violated some kind of agreement with you. He doesn’t know how to play with the big girls. He resorted to the behavior he knows, what works in his marriage—duck and dodge, lie and prevaricate—or I should say doesn’t work in his marriage, but he keeps using it. A ‘stellar’ penis isn’t everything. You need heart and head,” from a male reader.
“I have a collection of naked penis shots from Facebook ‘friends,’ names suspect. Some day I might stumble upon a real name and send to the wife,” from “hot Texas babe, 37.”
“Oh, Sexy Beast, we hardly knew you. To think, I masturbated to your erotica. Big disappointment,” from “former Beast fan, California girl.”
“There are many ways I saw this affair ending—but not like this. I was one of the readers who advised him when he pled for our thoughts in an Auntie Sue column. For him to end up being grateful at “she didn’t reject me” is sad. I think he needs help. I know you, Sue; and no man who experiences those orgasms should turn around and settle for not being rejected. I wish you hadn’t outed him. I hope he gets the help he needs, but I suppose he will just end up more firmly back on the leash, his Beast days a fading memory,” from a male reader.
“This was a slap to the face. Men using their sob stories about cold, rejecting wives to get laid on Facebook. I thought Sexy Beast was a cut above. He’s just the poster boy for the average weiner, isn’t he?” Georgia, 33.
“Sue, you tell that asshole if he threatens you again, he answers to the Navy. Nobody fucks with our Auntie Sue,” one of my sailor fans.
The question (posed at the end of part one) is:
Why does the behavior of a penis-Tweeting, FakeName Facebooker looking for sex online matter?
If he betrays his wife by sharing the nitty gritty of her sexual style, do you think you’ll be so special he won’t entertain his drinking buddies with your details?
If you are the wife, he’s describing you in unflattering terms to justify showing his penis to strangers, maybe while you’re lying awake wishing he would come make love to you; and that should matter to you.
Married Babes (and married men too), you need to wake up and maybe take the laptops and cell phones to a forensic detective. Many of you are living in Dreamland if you think your spouse is “faithful.” Have you been tested for STDs lately? Worse than being unfaithful, he is texting, Tweeting and emailing his naked penis, maybe his ejaculations, rather indiscriminately—perhaps from the office or the den after you go to bed alone, another sexless night. His online games could come back to haunt you in the form of reduced family income.
The Sexy Beast recently entered couples therapy with the wife and has called me for emotional support on the way home from each session. Does the therapist know he’s been, in her words, “cheating?” No, of course not. I doubt he is more dishonest than most wandering spouses in couples therapy.
How many lesser known Weiners are out there and at what cost to companies, other employees, the rest of us?
Let’s end the hypocrisy and the sex lies—and the wasted time and energy spent in puerile internet pursuits that could have serious blowback—and be more honest about our sexual needs and our sexual behavior. I have renewed respect for those who practice polyamory and swingers and others who live in open relationships. They don’t hide behind fake names, talking trash about their spouses, trying to get laid on the merits of their sad stories. Think how much courage it takes to say, “I love my wife/husband and she’s/he’s a good lover, but I need some variety to keep my game exciting so I am coming on to you.” Stand up and tell the truth, even to that wife and even if it means she might yell at you. If you have one (or more) FakeName Facebook accounts, it’s time to ask--
If The Sexy Beast weren’t so cheap (when not made drunk in Vegas by lap dancers/hooker), perhaps he would have hired a classy call girl, one with real breasts and a vocabulary, on a regular basis and avoided all this drama. Were he my husband, I certainly would have preferred that to having him share my sex life, or the lack of it, in embarrassing detail with strangers. When do Americans grow up and admit that prostitutes—willing, grown-up working girls, not trafficked sex slaves—have great value in a civilized society? Legalize prostitution!
THIS WEEKEND--M RETURNS! HE GIVES A MALE PERSPECTIVE ON FAKENAME FACEBOOKERS.
AND, A NEW SEX WARDROBE BASIC: PUSH-UP BRA SEX TRICKS
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