[This is one of SexyPrime's most popular posts. Would you like to know how to spank your lover? Read this post.]
Spanking was the staple of Victorian era porn. Hundreds of thousands of engravings, photographs and drawings survive. And the novels!—with titles like Lady Bumtickler’s Revels. One need not be a licensed psychologist to decipher the meaning behind this spanking fixation: In a repressed society where sex is considered wicked and sinful, it must be punished.
Do you ever wonder if the renewed interest in erotic spanking today is more than an internet-fueled phenomenon--but has something in common with Victorian porn? Does it reflect a desire to punish women for our sexual freedom? Yes, of course, women are complicit in our own corporal punishment, just as we were when Queen Victoria dictated morality to the masses. (Haven't women always excelled at punishing selves and other women?)
When I named Alex Zola “The Spanking Man,” I created a monster. His ego on maximum overdrive, he reveled in the title. It seemed to inspire him to greater heights of erotic betrayal as he revealed (on his blog and mine) more of the intimate secrets of the women he put over his knee—or occasionally choked. Some of my readers wrote saying, “Enough Zola already!” Some of his readers wrote saying, “We really don’t like that spanking stuff, not that we read it, of course.”
I moved on to a new partner in conversation, Todd Wooten. Our discussions about sex and race seem to be resonating with readers. Enough of Zola indeed.
Then I got a long email from “L”, a woman who still wants “the truth from Zola.”
“In all your conversations, you never got to the heart of the matter. You threw down the word ‘misogynist’ without making him own or refute it. Are you hiding behind the non-judgmental pose? Can a man spank a woman for two and a half hours unless he has a lot of anger toward women?
“I ask, because it happened to me.”
On her behalf, I asked The Zola to reconstruct that marathon spanking session, the event that he jokingly refers to as “two and a half hours of corporal punishment that I will never live down.”
How did it start?
“I ran into Linda at Molly's Shabeen on Third Avennue, the Loser Bar. We’d had a few, a condition which in the past led to some make-out sessions, including light spanking. We left the bar at the same time. She invited me over; and I thought, I’ll get laid tonight.
“I teased her about her spankable ass; and she said, ‘Oh, just whack it.’”
So you did for two and a half hours?!
I took an occasional break and tried to get her legs further apart. She said, ‘No, spank me.’ I alternated hard and soft smacks and still tried to get her legs apart. She said, ‘Spank me.’”
Long story short: He lost his erection but kept spanking. With neither party kidding themselves that the spanking was “foreplay,” the punishment continued. Didn’t that take the act out of the realm of “erotic spanking” and into ugly territory? Finally, he said, ‘My arm is sore.’ She said, “When I get close to men, I feel nauseous.” She threw up. He turned the event into a big joke that he shared with his fellow “losers” at their bar, her bar too.
The story makes me squeamish; and the smirk on his face as he tells it doesn’t help. So many unanswered questions!—like, Why didn’t you stop when you realized that you were not going ‘to get laid’?
“Yes, I have a lot of anger toward women. I was angry at her. She had this push/pull, yes/no, desire/disgust attraction to me that made me mad. I felt jerked around. I knew she liked thin, suave Brazilian type guys; and I am none of that.
“She wouldn’t open her legs. She didn’t want to have sex with me. ‘Smack me,’ she said; and I did. I asked myself as I was whacking her, ‘Is this the best I can do—be with a woman who jerks me around? Don’t I have anything more going for me than this?’ My own self-loathing kicked in and I kept whacking her.”
The afterplay—a.k.a., the bar jokes?
"I meant to be self-deprecating when I told the story to the guys at Molly's, but it came out, ‘Look how twisted and sick she is.’ That’s the underbelly of jokey snark. You act like you’re making fun of yourself, but you’re sticking it to the person who is the real butt of the joke. In retrospect, I came off looking bad too. People must have walked away thinking, ‘Look how sick and twisted they both are.’”
The moral to this story: Yes, only a misogynist could whack a woman’s ass for two and a half hours. That some women are drawn to men who hate them is not news. It’s a very old story, dressed up in currently stylish fashion for every generation.
We may find the story remarkable now because the women Zola whacks have accomplished more in the world and earn more money than he does. Remember: these babes are only playing at submission. Even when the game turns rough, they are in control. She denied him entry and threw up.
"L”, I hope the “truth from Zola”, told at last without the smirk on his face, sets you free.
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