I apologize for neglecting SexyPime this past week. I've been working on projects that I want to finish while I can. One of them--an ebook of Auntie Sue's best advice, with expanded answers. Ask Auntie Sue is the most popular feature on SP; and its fans deserve a collection.
This question from the September 12, 2011 column was a reader favorite.
How to handle a depressed penis?
Q. “I met this great guy, handsome, sexy, smart, funny. He’s 45 but in good shape so I wasn’t expecting a depressed penis. He rarely gets a decent erection and has trouble ejaculating. While he says he doesn’t mind not coming, I mind that he doesn’t. He takes medication for high cholesterol and for depression. I think the meds have depressed his penis. He won’t take Viagra. Do you know any magic to make a penis happy again?” Leanne, the Jersey shore.
A. Viagra and similar drugs are often contraindicated in patients taking medication for high blood pressure, high cholesterol and depression. That comes as a surprise to women who think all problems of the penis can be cured by a little pill. Your lover should seek out a doctor who can listen to his sexual concerns and help him find the medications or dosages that have the least impact on his poor depressed penis. But here is what you can do:
First, stop “minding” when he doesn’t ejaculate. Take the pressure off. Let him focus on pleasing you.
Second a savvy lover can often help her man get a firmer erection these two ways.
- Become very skilled at fellatio. (See my signature sex technique, The Basic Black Dress of Blow Jobs.)
- Perfect the art of the hand job. (See "Two Hand Jobs.")
Third, have you tried a vibrating cock ring on him? (Go to Babeland, type in "vibrating cock ring" in the search window.) The ring helps him maintain an erection while the vibrations increase his arousal and bring him closer to ejaculation.
Fourth, he might be able to reach orgasm during anal intercourse because the fit around his penis is so snug. (See M’s primer on anal intercourse.)
Fifth, some men respond to this simple trick:
- Press your thumb into his perineum (space between base of testicles and anus) when he is highly aroused.
Finally, explore your fantasies together. A little kink can be better than a little blue pill.
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