No more free e books! But you can order The Orasm Loop, e book version, on Amazon.com for only $9.95. I was surprised at the high volume of requests. Thanks for your interest; and I hope, if you didn't get a free copy, that you will invest in your own orgasm. Write to me if you have any questions as you're reading the book.
Speaking of questions--
Q. “I love my lady but she doesn’t not give much of a blow job. I’ve thrown out hints which she ignored. Once she said, ‘I always heard there is no bad BJ.’ Finally I told her that my ex was an oral genius and asked if she wouldn’t like me to tell her how the other woman did it. She hasn’t spoken to me in 6 days. How do I fix this?” JM, Boston.
A. How big a bouquet of exotic flowers can you afford?
When she is speaking/listening again, apologize for bringing up the sexual skills of your ex. That was hurtful—but typical of frustrated lovers. Women fake orgasms in the marital bed for years, decades sometimes, then announce abruptly, “I’ve always faked orgasms with you!” This announcement does not make him ravenous for her or improve the sex.
Men rarely complain about the quality of fellatio, perhaps secretly believing they should be grateful for whatever their lady gives. No surprise: it is an article of faith with many women, especially wives, that “There is no bad blow job.” Yes, Babe, there is.
After the apology, tell her you’ve found the best BJ technique, better than the old GF’s style: The Basic Black Dress of Blow Jobs. Order Best Sex Ever; the BBDBJ is inside. You’ll want her to have a reference copy. By the way, there is a good cunnilingus technique in there too.
Q. “I am a bi-sexual girl, raised in Louisiana where you gotta’ keep yo’ mouth shut about all that. When I moved to London a few years ago, I discovered Sex Life in a Big City—oh, la, la!! I booked a bi threesome online, picked up a married French couple in a bar, dated men, dated women. The sexual encounters have been hot, but I must be giving better than I get. Everybody gets satisfied except me; and I go home to masturbate. How do I get my needs met?” Sugar.
A. Well, Sugar, maybe some of these people, especially the women, are better actors than you are—and they too go home to masturbate. I only have your word that you are giving it good. Frankly, I am not convinced.
Women who don’t take their own pleasure during sex might have performance skills—but can they really be outstanding lovers?
See the introduction to this post. You need The Orgasm Loop.
Q. “Thank you for writing The Orgasm Loop. It does work! A few months ago, I had my first orgasm at fifty. I bought a vibrator from Babeland and then another one. You are right about vibes! But I would also like a sex life. My husband is impotent due to medical issues. How do I find a lover and keep it from him?” Donna, suburbs of Chicago.
A. You do have a sex life—with yourself. I am so happy you found your path to pleasure in a situation that would have proved too daunting to many women. Now you want partner sex; and who can blame you?
I can help you look at your options, but I can’t make your decisions for you.
You can share your sexuality with your husband (as much as possible) or discreetly take a lover or ask for his approval in exploring alternatives with other men, women or couples.
Whatever else you do, include him in your sex life now. Have him hold you as you masturbate with fingers or vibe. Ask him to pleasure you manually or orally. You might be surprised at what two people can do without a solid erection. Get creative.
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