“To expect one person, man or woman, to make you happy for the rest of your life is a ticket to divorce. The happiest women I interviewed have a sense of purpose and passion outside of marriage.” Iris Krasnow, professor at American University and author of The Secret Lives of Wives (Gotham) .
How do many of the happy two-hundred wives she interviewed for the book find their passion?
They take separate vacations. Cheat. Find "a boyfriend with boundaries."
Life is better for 21st Century women than it was in the great adultery novels of the 19th Century (required reading when I was in high school.) In Madame Bovary, Emma committed suicide by arsenic. Anna, the heroine of Anna Karenina, jumped in front of a train. Hester Prynne, A Scarlet Letter, wore the red A for life; and she and her illegitimate baby daughter were shunned.
Krasnow neither condemns nor condones the straying women's behavior, but she does say, "Marriage is hard."
Interestingly, several readers brought her book to my attention.
"The Sex Wardrobe Basics are my affair playbook. The clothes and accessories, the techniques, positions and games--I use them all. I feel like the most sophisticated, sexy lover."
"The first time I had sex with my lover, I permitted no penetration. I was wore a black silk blouse and black lace bra--and played The Black Silk Blouse Cleavage Game. He was totally surprised by the game--and he loved it.
"The next time he was so avid for penetration that I couldn't deny him--or me."
You don't have to be a cheating wife to revisit The Black Silk Blouse Cleavage Game and the other Sex Wardrobe Basics. (Category on right hand side.)
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