And what woman doesn’t want that if the guy does it right?
The missionary position got its bad name because men performed it in one position (though it can be varied in many ways) and basically at one speed, fast. Porn only exacerbated the situation by showing us the genital close-up of a penis doing the jack hammer into a vagina. Few women reach orgasm that way…..BUT most women could reach orgasm via intercourse if they adapt the position to get clitoral stimulation and control the speed, depth and angle of thrusting and use hands or vibe AND especially if they learn The Orgasm Loop, my technique for reaching a "No Hands" orgasm any time, every time.
Granted, I am one of those easily orgasmic women—and I do know how to O Loop—so the Sexy Beast [see The Diary of an Affair category on right hand side] could have brought me to an orgasm or several via any intercourse position. He is so outstanding in every position (including manual play and cunnilingus) that he actually took me to the point where I was too exhausted to come again, not one night, but two nights in a row. I LOVE the way he guided me from one position to another; and I LOVE the way he occasionally used his hands or a vibrator on my clit while he thrust and was also very comfortable with me using fingers or vibe. A man who was faithfully married for most of his sex life, he is certainly an argument for quality over quantity.
So without further ado, here is The Sexy Beast, re-named The O Man, on how to be the man on top—
THE 21st CENTURY MAN ON TOP
Have on hand: vibrators, lube, pillows to put beneath her ass or under the small of her back to make a position work better for her.
The key: Pay attention to her responses.
Let her drive the coital dynamics by how she moves toward you. She will tell you through her body moves where she wants you to be—and how fast or slow she wants you to thrust inside her. Don’t feel threatened by sex toys. Add them to the play. Why not? There is no downside to it. Give her what she needs before you take what you want. She’ll be more than happy to give you what you want when you have satisfied her.
Have a good lube or oil on hand. I like Susan’s new favorite, Trust oil for intimacy and massage, because it absorbs into the tissues, leaving her feeling moist and soft, not gooey—and also softening any rough patches on my fingertips, definitely a bonus.
Start by kneeling between her open legs. Let her wrap both legs around your waist if that suits her—or one around your waist and the other, knee bent, foot on the bed beside you or resting on your thigh in the open missionary position.
Enter her slow and easy, using your hand to stroke her clit as you thrust.
Pick up her rhythm and move with it. If one leg is open, hold onto her thigh when you are not stroking her clit, partly for balance and support, partly to sustain the connection to her.
Stay in one position until she lets you know she’s ready for a shift. If you feel her closing in on orgasm, do not move. Maybe you can’t tell how close she is. If you try to move and she tenses up, she is close. Stay put. Watch her hip movements toward you and match them with your thrusts.
Some suggestions for varying the position include—
- Take her legs in your hands, position them in front of her with knees bent and enter between them.
- Pull her legs up and rest them on your shoulders.
- Put one leg on your shoulders and leave the other bent.
- Have her wrap both legs around your neck. Cup her ass in your hands as you thrust.
- Move her to the end of the bed. While standing in front of her, raise both legs up to your shoulders. Or raise one leg and let her wrap the other around your waist.
copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime