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April 21, 2011

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J

I'm a 37 year-old, recently divorced woman. I was married for 16 years and finally couldn't do it anymore. We tried counseling, medication, everything we could. Still, the sex was bad, the conversations stilted and attention lacking. I asked him to move out and the day he did was one of the happiest of my life. I do love and care for the man and wish him well; we're better friends now than we ever were.

One: Are you a Desperate Woman—and why?

I don't believe I am a Desperate Woman. I live a life I love, even if sometimes I am a little lonely in bed by myself sometimes.

Two: Women, have you dated a Freddie—for how long and why?

No. Never.

Three: Women, have you known the delights of a Sexy Beast?

Yes. And to date, it has been the best sex I have ever experienced. Total abandon, both of us willing to try anything and everything. In person, over the phone or email, however we could do it. Total trust and intense intimacy made it easy to completely let go and with this man, I realized that I loved anal sex as well as giving and receiving oral sex, things that were definitely off limits in my marriage (because of his hangups). Oh my goodness, I love his cock and want more. If only the distance between us wasn't so prohibitive.

Four: Where is the tipping point in a relationship at which a woman can become desperate?

I was so close when I was still married. So close. I wanted to be touched and wanted attention and threw myself into work when my husband wouldn't give me what I wanted. I couldn't see myself being unfaithful when he had been so many years before.

Five: What do you think about the low-hanging fruit analogy?

I think it's dead on. People will go for what's easy.

Six: Have you found that less attractive partners make better lovers—and why do you think that is?

I've been seeing a handsome young man who seems like he'd be a catch. I enjoy his company, but now only as friend as he was horrible in bed. Horrible. The Sexy Beast showed me what I'd been missing out on during my marriage. I don't intend to settle again. Ever.

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