Unless you work in the hotel or fine dining industries, you may not realize that February 13 is Mistress Day—because you are not in a position to see the rich men happily lavishing champagne dinners and gifts on their lovers, followed the next night by the more restrained ritual recognition of the wife, often at the same fine restaurant. Today the New York Post ran an amusing piece on that un-official romantic holiday, “When Pigs Romance Mistresses.” Ah, the Post must maintain their proper conservative snide and judgmental attitude toward all things sexual, while simultaneously reveling in an adolescent’s prurient and ill-informed enjoyment of the subject. (Really, don’t we love the Post because they are so upfront and unashamed about exhibiting this prevailing American sexual character?)
The gist of their story: Rich men spend more money on their mistresses than their wives for Valentine’s Day celebrations—but sometimes get caught, in spite of the best efforts of concierges and maitre’ds. What they didn’t say: The mistress may get the little blue Tiffany’s bag while the wife receives chocolates and roses but the wife has financial equity in the relationship and the mistress does not. Legal liability lasts; youth and unlined beauty doesn’t. One will have an easier old age than the other.
However, in honor of Mistress Day, I remind women, whether wives or lovers, of that adage: A man wants a woman to be a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom.
Here is the perfect naughty bedroom game to play—
THE BLACK SILK BLOUSE CLEAVAGE GAME
If you don’t own a black silk blouse—in as fine a quality of silk as you can afford—you must buy one. (Hint for bargain shoppers: Some of the new polyester actually feels more luxurious than the cheaper silk. It’s all about the “hand” or feel and drape of the fabric; men don’t read the care labels.)
Wear the blouse bra-less if you can or, if more comfortable, with a minimal silky bra. You want the fabric of the blouse to cling to the swell in your cleavage. Unbutton as far as you like. When you are ready to seduce him, remove your skirt. You will be stripped down to the blouse, black lace panties and black lace-topped thigh high stockings, a Sex Wardrobe Basic you must own—nothing sexy about pantyhose—or bare legs, shaved and oiled to perfection, and high heels. Slowly unbutton the blouse, let it hang free, exposing your breasts, but don’t take it off.
Now, the moves—and maintain smoldering eye contact throughout--
- Covering your hands with the silk, caress his penis and fondle his balls. The feel of the fabric against his most sensitive skin will be delicious.
- While continuing to cradle his balls in the silk, lick up and down his shaft and lightly suck the head of his penis, until his breathing grows heavier.
- Lean back against the headboard, open your legs wide, and, with your hands on his hips, guide him between your legs—but surprise him by sliding down low enough so that you can take his penis in hand and guide it between your (lightly oiled or creamed) breasts.
- Take his hands and place them on the sides of your breasts and whisper, “Squeeze hard, Baby—and thrust.”
- Give his penis a quick lick or longer suck as he thrusts forward between your breasts. Play with your clit so that you are keeping up with him. (Or wear a sweetheart vibrator on a strap if you want to keep both hands free.)
Some men will climax this way, especially if you masturbate to orgasm first. When he is close, beg him to come on your breasts or face. (Or, if he’s not going to ejaculate without intercourse, beg him to fuck you.)
Yes, you will need to send the blouse to the cleaners (unless you opted for the faux silk poly). But isn’t that a small price to pay for great sex?
Other Sex Wardrobe Basic Techniques and Positions
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