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February 08, 2011

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Tom

Susan,

If you forget the 'I love you,' nothing else will matter. My wife and I are 60 something. Early on I planned the day, and gave her the whole 'nine yards.' (For those who don't know what that means, in the military each of your bottom sheet, top sheet and wool blanket are each 3 yards long as issued as your basic bunk kit, pillow also. A tradition carried over from the British back when.)

We have grown in our 20 years together to not necessarily need anything but lots of erotic romance and steamy passionate sex. Don't let anyone tell you sex ceases to happen as you age. Bulls@#*t!

It only gets better and hotter! If it doesn't get one of Susan's book and good help, then, practice, practice, practice, ... I can't see the end of this sentence so, ... . Oh boy!

We still have valentines some years with the whole 9 yards, but we choose, some years, to step out someplace quick for a meal or I cook something exotic and we stay at home dressing as skimpily as the temperature will allow my wife to dress for our meal. I'm always hot!

GUYS! Don't ever let your wife cook on Valentines Day. EVER! Even if you have to have it brought in!

We start at the table cooing over each other and by the time the meal is over we take champagne and dessert to the bedroom. Strawberries, whipped cream, warm, NOT HOT, melted chocolate in some form and what ever other erotic food you want. Lips, tongues and the extras can still turn each of us inside out.

Now, if one of you makes some comment about don't want to imagine two old wrinkled people buck naked, we're both NOT! Even if we were, we would look just as enticing as you think you and your honey to each other. I hope you will, too!

Now if you want some luxury for your evening, buy some high thread count, satin or splurge on silk sheets with maybe a strategically shaped foam form. We prefer Li.........r. There are many other great sources, and they are worth it!

Add some candle or low light, your favorite massage oils for after dessert, if you aren't already exceeding the combustion temperature of the bedding and toys. Personally if we don't start with a massage, we never get to the massage. GUYS it's your lady's night, don't muff it with a personal request. Do't turn down an offer either. Think about it! Really!

Then, GUYS, it is up to you and and how well you have handled your romance responsibilities.

We always finish the evening sweating, laying on damp sheets and in each other's arms cuddling until we are asleep as usual, whether having gone out or remained at home.

Saying I love you is the foundation of any Valentine's Day and should be started early in the day, like first thing.

Unless physically impossible, I love you is never enough! EVER!

You don't need to spend a lot either.

Why on earth would you do less for the best part of your life!

Susan Crain Bakos

Tom, I love you. That's not enough, but I know your wife will make it up to you.
Thank you so much for this lovely Valentine comment.
Love and kisses, S

Chrystal

I know a lot of people poo poo on this "holiday" because they think it's a "Hallmark" holiday.

But, I am all for any day where we get to FOCUS all of our attention on our partner and our relationship.

My gut instinct is that NO, just an "I love you" is not enough, though. I think the gents need to step it up on this day - esp if their lover is the mother of their children - Moms and Lovers need some TLC on Valentine's Day. It does not have to be elaborate. Maybe a special massage, a coupon, a home cooked dinner, share a special bottle of wine, bring home a special dessert. Do something! :)

Ef

I've always been a firm believer that Valentine's Day is overrated. I think your love shouldn't have to be proven on just THAT day. I think it puts too much pressure on men and women to make that day perfect.

Why not any other day? Why can't March 26th be a day you buy some flowers and say I love you? I've always told my boyfriends that I don't need a special anything that day...but 'I love you' is the sweetest most perfect thing to say.

Gena Hymowech

Hi. I got here through the NYC Writers Yahoo group. I don't think I Love You is enough for Valentine's Day. I don't need a big gift, but even a little box of chocolates would be nice.

Lynda Belle

Hmmm. I am one of those who despises Valentines. Obligatory Love, guilt, loneliness...it starts when we were kids and ~having~ to give valentines to the class with candy hearts and flowers for the teacher if you liked them or not. Obligatory love is worse than obligatory sex. MHO! I have felt this way since 4th grade when I ~had~ to give a Valentine to the girl class bully. 'Be My Valentine' to girls from a bigotry house was confusing at best and to kootie filled boys was just gross. Be my friend was never in the box.

That all changed though one day when my husband and I were just friends. No way was I getting married, ~ever~, and I was done with relationships. Besides he had a three year old. ~No WAY!~

He came to my work one day and asked if we could get together and I said sure but my next day off I had to do laundry, so maybe the next day off after that. He said he knew just the place and would help me with my laundry. "Okay, are you sure?" I asked. 'My next day off is Friday' he paused then said 'I'll pick you up at 1:00'. Me totally clueless I was just happy not to have to go to the laundry mat alone.

So he picks me up and takes me to Soap and Suds, a place to do laundry with a bar. We get the laundry in the wash, go to the bar and order screw drivers, and play sex trivia while waiting for the laundry. We ate finger foods, fed each other tid bits, drank more screw drivers, and I beat him at trivia. It was so much fun. We laughed, and talked, and got my mountain of laundry done.

On the way back to my place I'm not sure what possessed me. Blame it on the screw drivers, or blame the greart casual friendship day together, but we hit this red light and I looked at him and all of a sudden I had this over whelming need to kiss him. So I did. His smell was ambrosia as I breathed him in and the electricity probably was the cause of the static cling in the laundry, but when we brok apart he looked in my eyes and I looked in his and we might as well have been the only two people in the world because we started kissing the most amazing toe cureling kiss again. we kissed for 3 lights. {clearing throat} Until the cars behind us reminded us where we were and that they wouldn't sit through another green light. Ahhhh young love..I mean friendship.

He pulled into a parking lot and for some reason we couldn't get enough of one another. My lips still tingle when I think of that 'once in a life time' moment. When everything just clicks and is perfect. When we parted he informed me he had to take care of some things and go get his kid from his parents who were baby sitting. "Oh of course." Nothing to bring you back to reality like 'I gotta pick up my child.' Works better than a jump into a freezing pool in February.

So he dropped me at the door and we were greeted by my roommate who had a card and special kiss for him. 'Happy Valentines day.' she adoringly greeted him and informed me. 'Valentines?' I asked? "Of course. Who forgets Valentines?" Me apparently. I smiled and thanked him with the help on the laundry monster and went to my room and left the two of them. He made his excuses and left. I picked up a shift and went to work.

He showed up towards closing and asked if he could take me, with kid in tow, to Jo Jos for something to eat. 'Sure I could eat.' you know I was totally oblivious about his feelings for me, and thought he a roomie, who went to a 'party', might be having a 'thing' and he and I were ~just friends~! When I got in his car he had all this stuff in the back. One card stood out. It was a work of art, hand drawn, and a special Valentines from a very hopful Valentine. He informed me he had several dates and broke them all and that was all the things cards, candy, toys for his child, that he had received when he broke the dates. He still has that hand made card and I think it's lovely. 'Why did you break your dates?' I inquired very innocently. 'because I want to be with you.' he informed me. "Oh No! We're just friends." and he just smiled.

We were married 3 months later.

Fast forward 25 years and the raising of 2 daughters and many class rooms worth of obligatory valentines. Sometimes 'I love you.' is all we had for each other and other times like our 12th Valentines he bought me a heart pendant with 12 rubies. A dozen I love you for every anniversary of our first real kiss. We have cut hearts our of construction paper at our poorest times, and drawn special messages on the mirror when Valentines was remembered at the 11th hour. We have had expensive dinners with roses and picnics at the beach with hearts drawn in the sand. But through it all my Hubby has never been obligated to show me Valentines love he just shows me unforgettable love filled moments. So from a woman who scoffs at 'Valentines' who has a Hubby that showed her the real meaning, Yes Susan, sometimes 'I love you' is more than enough! Because when it really comes down to it, what else matters ~but~ real love?

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