[I edited for space, but otherwise here it is, the best basic guide to anal intercourse for newbies’ that I’ve ever read--SCB]
Let’s talk lubricants.
Do not use vaseline or other petroleum-based lubricants with condoms, as the petroleum-based lube breaks down the latex. While I have had success with a number of lubricants—and olive oil has the benefit of being edible and usually available right in your kitchen cabinets—my lubricant of choice is Astroglide, light, slick, wate-rbased, and made for sexual use. Be generous with the Astroglide. Keep adding it with each finger, work in as much lube as you can, and coat the cock with lube also.
Obviously, anal intercourse will take some patience and planning for the novice—
but you can practice with the fingers, toys, and relaxation techniques when you are alone to help prepare. Just remember: ANTICIPATION, STIMULATION, RELAXATION, LUBRICATION, PENETRATION, EXALTATION and throughout all of this when you are with your partner, maintain COMMUNICATION!
A bubble bath before often really helps with the relaxation aspect.
Now to address the actual practice of introducing manmeat into tender tight anal opening.
There is technique to that as well (women who are comfortably experienced with anal fucking can often dispense with this, but you’re not there yet.)
Once you have been comfortably stroked in your nether opening by one, then two, and finally three fingers, you are relaxed, well-lubed, have had three hot orgasms and are craving cock in your ass. (NOTE: I sometimes progress to three fingers, but if a woman is relaxed enough to comfortably take two fingers without a lot of resistance, the third finger is not really necessary.)
Now, do NOT have your partner shove his cock in your ass!!!! No!
Your partner should gently press his well-lubed cockhead against your anus and rub it in slow circles like the ones we used with fingers. With very little pressure, eventually the anus will dilate and the cockhead will slide in on its own, but you need to control the pace.
Back onto the cock (assuming you are in the doggie position, more on positions later), but do not have the cock pushed in. When the head passes the sphincters, it will tend to slide in several inches immediately. Stop, rest, alternate squeezing and releasing your sphincter, then slowly back onto the cock more and more, stopping often, until your partner is pressed fully into your hot little ass. He should remain mostly still while you experiment with this.
Once you are fully impaled on cock, don't move!!! After a few seconds, maybe as much as a minute, you will feel that it is quite noticeably not as tight. Your anal sphincter and other rectal muscles will really relax to the point where the cock can move freely. Then you, not your partner, should experiment with slow, short, back and forth movements. At this point, it should quite quickly get comfortable enough for longer, but still slow, strokes.
After that, you are on your own as far as finding a pace that works for you and good luck! Many women really want their ass slammed once they are relaxed enough to take it, others prefer to continue with slow gentle strokes. Find the one that works best for YOU!
Most people automatically think doggie style when they are exploring anal sex, and that is certainly one of our preferred positions for backdoor action, but for many beginners, it is non-optimal.
First, remember that any position that you can fuck in, can also be used for anal fucking with minor adjustments. That said, since anal sex depends heavily on relaxation, and to some degree on angle of entry, many people find that the woman on her back with her hips elevated (possibly with a pillow, some people indicate that they have had great success with the LIBERATOR) is often the best position for the woman to relax enough to enjoy anal. Generally, regardless of position, the angle of entry should have the penis pointed toward the woman’s navel…though recognize that people differ anatomically, so if that is not comfortable, keep changing the angle until you find one that works for you!
While there are individual differences, I think in most cases, the woman would be most comfortable lying on her back with her legs up. Second choice is probably face down flat, NOT up in the doggie style position. The primary issue in comfortable anal sex is fully relaxing the anal sphincters. For someone who has any difficulty with this aspect of anal (including most anal beginners, and even some people who have enjoyed anal sex for years), lying on one's back with the legs elevated is the simplest way to relax the sphincters. Supporting your body on your knees creates some muscular tension, which will tend to cause the sphincters to tighten a bit as well.
For longer anal sessions, I tend to have the woman on her back on the edge of the bed with me standing beside the bed holding her legs up, often on my shoulders.
All that noted, all positions that work for vaginal sex can work for anal sex with only slight adjustments, so there are individual differences. I personally LIKE doggie style generally, and for anal, so unless there is a problem with the woman not being able to comfortably open up in that position, it is still one of my most common positions for anal sex.
In case you have concerns about cleanliness, this is a hygiene addendum.
Unsurprisingly, the issue of fecal matter is a concern for many people deciding to take the back road to pleasure. so let me address that unsavory issue. There are several things to consider that collectively make for a cleaner anal environment.
First, assuming the woman has regular daily bowel movements at about the same time of day, try to be several hours later. Ideally, if the woman is on a morning movement schedule, by evening the lower colon should be fairly debris free. After a proper bowel movement, the body normally does not store fecal matter in the lower colon where anal pleasuring occurs. Shortly before sex, soaking in a nice warm soapy bath, and sliding a very soapy finger into the anus will do a wonderful job of cleaning the area thoroughly. Some people suggest a small enema, but if you do that it should be several hours earlier, as it can stimulate another bowel movement. If you insist on the enema (which I do not recommend) it should be at least six hours before playtime. My experience is that EVERY TIME there has been a fecal incident in anal, it was when the woman had an enema first. Not necessary and not a good idea.
Continuing on the cleanliness issue, once anal play starts, never introduce a finger or cock that has been in contact with the anus into the vagina without washing it thoroughly with soap and water. Even a clean anus harbors some e-coli bacteria, which can cause a nasty infection if introduced into the vagina. In our play, I only use my right hand for anal stimulation, that way I always know that once any anal play starts, the right hand goes to the back door and only the left hand goes to the front door.
Additionally, if there is any squeamishness about the cock touching any possible fecal matter, you can wear a condom. This also might be a good idea for first anal for a different reason, some guys get so excited by the new experience, and the tightness that you might cum too quickly, and most guys cum more slowly with a condom.
Read M's guide to Double Penetration, DP, in this week's Ask Auntie Sue.
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