So many of you have written to ask me what ever happened to "Diary of an Affair" [See posts under that category, right hand side of blog], the hot correspondence between me and the married mystery man that came thisclose to a rendezvous. For the time being and for multiple reasons, I have opted to leave our intense attraction to one another in the mutual and shared fantasy stage. And moving right along--Daniel Ray's sex tip in yesterday's post is proving VERY popular with women and men...
Q. "I love Playing the Clit, Daniel's sex tip. But i asked my husband to try it--and he couldn't get into telling the story. He insists that the finger strokes are the crucial part. I say it's both, the mental arousal from the story and the strokes. What can I do with him?" Meg, 39, Memphis.
A. Actually, it's three elements: mental arousal, strokes--and aural arousal. He needs to use his voice to turn you on as he's telling the story. Surely the man knows how to lower his voice and make it sexy. The voice arouses you and excites your mind as the finger strokes excite your body. If he is not a creative storyteller, hand him an erotic story that appeals to you and ask him to use it for inspiration.
The ultimate sexy voice belongs to Dan Taylor, host of WCBSFM 101.1 Morning Show, five days a week from six a.m. to ten. (Stream it online if you are not in the NYC listening area.) I've written about the erotic power of his voice--and the science behind it in the post "The Seductive Voice." (I have such a crush on Dan...) With your husband, listen to Dan in the mornings. Feel his voice pouring over your body and arousing your sensual mind. Hopefully Husband will pick up some tips on modulating his voice when he sees that dreamy look on your face.
Q. "What smells most attract women, and what for men? In a carnal sense, smell is a part of everyone's self conscious. Our own pheramones are in our sweat. When I working in a fine dining kitchens, my beautiful women co-workers, from Europe and Quebec, polished the cuttlery with vinegar-water. The pungent, faintly sexual smell carried throughout the kitchen. To tease me, the girls would grab my muscles or trace their fingers around my chest and nipples in a flirtatious gesture. I remember one girl who put her fingers to her nostrils and whiffed it in when she was finished. Ethnicity and culture could play a minor role in this story, but I believe the sexual power of scent is universal. What do you know about this?" Josh
A. You are right, Josh. The sexual power of scent is greater than most people realize. Some scientists believe that we "smell" our mates--those whose genetic make-up is most compatible with our own. Nerve Zero is an olfactory sensor, a nerve that goes straight into the brain bypassing the nose. "Love at first sight" is really a chemical reaction--and scent is part of the equation. I know a man is right for me (or not) when I inhale his chest hair. Still, many of us are also aroused by certain fragrances, particularly the scents of flowers, woods and greens for women--and also the smells of food for men. Vanilla is said to arouse men--which explains why it is an ingrediet in so many women's fragrances--but not mine. I do not want to smell like a freshly baked cookie.
I love your story about the restaurant kitchen. You have confirmed my belief that cooking is a sexy art.
Q. "I thought the phenomonon of married adults re-connecting with their old girlfriends--or picking up new ones--through Facebook was an American thing. But now I discover that my husband is corresponding with not one, but two old girlfriends through FB. Meetings have been arranged. He doesn't know that I have been reading his FB messages. What should I do? Is Facebook a threat to marriage like that US pastor says?" Lenora, 43, London.
A. Reputedly the actress Eva Longoria discovered her NBA husband Tony Parker's affair with a former teammate's wife when he forgot to log off on the family computer and she read his emails. There is the real threat to marriage: the electronic trail in emails, voice messages and texts. (Remember Tiger Woods and the Thanksgiving sexting?) That US pastor who condemned FB, by the way, has admitted to having a three-way affair with his wife and another man. They did not meet on Facebook.
What should you do now? You have three choices: 1, Confess to snooping and invading his privacy if you want to bring the issue to the table. 2, If you are not ready for the confrontation, say nothing. Snoop again later to see if the meetings actually took place. 3, Let it go, if maintaining the status quo is your main priority. Say nothing and snoop no more.
I can't tell you which course to take. That is entirely up to you. But please get back to me and let me know what happens.
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