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October 05, 2010


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I vote that it's from manual clitoral stimulation at the same time as the anal intercourse. Seems the most likely scenario. It's the most likely for ME, anyway!

I think that the "Women who were getting what they wanted were more likely to indulge their partners' wishes" statement is a bit of a logical leap. It's also just as likely that these women are the sexually adventurous type, fully engaged, enjoying lots of varied sex, and therefore having more orgasms.


We share a mutual friend and he encouraged me to post to your blog. He said you were in need of hearing from women about their anal experiences...

I can only speak for myself. Only until my 40's did I start craving anal sex. Probably because I was twice divorced with unsatisfying sex experiences with both exes. Then I began a journey of sexual awakening. Meeting new friends, having new experiences.

My first sexual experience with a woman, was also being in the midst of 2 couples...I had many firsts that night. Soon I was ready for anal. And it was a man who was very well endowed and who had had previous unpleasant anal experiences with other women. Back then, I did much preparation, because I believe like most women, we fear accidents. So I ate light meals 24hrs before, and used an enema. OMG. What a shocker for him, and here, I was begging him for more.

Soon thereafter, I began to prepare similarly, because even though anal was not usually discussed on the first date, I had never met a man who would turn me down for anal sex. So, yes, I did prepare with an enema. And then one anal encounter after another, I was in situations that allowed for only the lube from a condom...and that was just perfect for me. I was willing, ready, and begging for anal.

And that was the turning point for me. Realizing that no accidents could possibly occur, I forged ahead with many anal sexual endeavors. And then one night, after a weekend of much sex, and anal, I just completely relaxed, and it was incredible. It was as if my anal sphincter opened wide, and the force of thrusting was such that it would have been scary to watch, but as the recipient, well, it was magical.

In my current relationship, I have undoubtedly entered a new anal sexual reality for me. I NEVER had anal orgasms previously, and it was difficult for me to have vaginal orgasms, unless clitoral stimulation was occurring. Now, the tide has undoubtedly turned. I don't regularly need lubricants for anal sex, we have anal sex every time we have sex, and many times we start our play time with just anal sex. Why? Because it can be just as satisfying as vaginal sex. Additionally, if anal sex is towards the end of our play session, yes, my own vaginal lube is enough for anal penetration. Or, saliva works just fine as well.

And I DO orgasm from anal sex. I found my a/g-spot! The best position for this to occur is on my back. Specifically, on a hard surface, but our waterbed works too, legs up in the air. The hard surface, a table hydraulically powered with a foot pedal...so that he gets the angle just right! And it happens very fast and often. It is not a clitoral orgasm, it feels different, but I am having an orgasm. It is definitely more intense, and never ever, do I reach a saturation point of too many anal orgasms.

I certainly disagree that anal orgasms occur due to either clitoral stimulation or numerous sex acts. That's my experience. It takes desire, motivation, and very little preparation. Toys and digital prep are useful for novices, but not necessary for me. You may think, "What does her anal sphincter look like after ALL those experiences?" As tight as a drum and no hemorrhoids, no tears, and no change in bowel habits. As my significant other exclaims "My god, your ass looks beautifully tight" And now, we forge ahead with new anal experiences. But that, my friends, will save for another day!

Susan Crain Bakos

Wow....thank you so much for writing, Sheba.

I caution readers that her experience is not the norm, that most women do need "prep+ and especially copious amounts of lube--and that damage to the sphincter and anal tissues can result from a lot of hard, un-lubricated anal sex. (Do you know how many porn stars and hot boys have had reconstructive anal surgery?)
So. Yes, anal sex is hot and when you want it, you gotta have it.
But MOST women can't take it like this.
Sheba, you are some woman.
Kisses, S

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