Last year three junior officers took me out for lunch and asked for sex advice. Masturbation was the subject on their minds--and specifically how it would (or not) ruin their sex lives with their partners. A few days ago four junior officers took me out to lunch and shared their best sex advice. Here it is:
Women like to be seduced. (Yes!)
"I've watched drunken sailors make sloppy advances and, unless the woman is equally drunk, they get smacked down. My advice to men who go out to bars hoping to hook up--drink less and seduce the woman while you're still sober. Pay her genuine compliments. Ask questions about her. Be interested in who she is and what she has to say. Make slow and easy physical advances. Touch her hand, her arm. When things heat up a little, move closer to her and run your finger down her cheek. If a piece of hair falls down on her face, gently lift it up. Take your time with her and she will be the one kissing you at the bar."
Become a Tantric sailor.
One of the guys wrote to me several months ago after buying a copy of The New Tantra: Simple and Sexy on shore leave in London. He wrote: "I practice my Kegels now and do the breathing exercises while masturbating. I've learned how to prolong masturbation and have stronger orgasms. When I get in bed with a woman again, I know this will make the sex better." Yes, he now says, it did. (Check out a recent Ask Auntie Sue column for tips on using these tehniques to have multiple orgasms.)
Instead of reading/watching porn obsessively, learn about women's bodies and how they really work.
Another of the group also wrote to me about one of my books, The Sex Bible for Women.
"My sister sent me a copy and wrote--'Maybe you will change your luck with women if you learn what they want.' I laughed, threw it in my locker, forgot about it until another guy pulled it out. The photos are great. The book got passed around and came back to me with comments written in the margins. I can't tell you how many times guys wrote, 'Did you know that?' I read. I know now. One thing I learned, don't go straight for the pussy. While a guy loves it if a woman puts her hand or mouth on his erection right away--women want to be opened up more slowly, starting from the lips down."
Good advice, sailors. I love corresponding with all of you. We can't thank you enough for being out there, protecting us. We are free in America to live our lives--writing about sex, having sex, speaking freely and more--thanks to our men and women in uniform.
I am stealing this from Dan Taylor's sign-off yesterday on wcbsfm 101.1's The Morning Show:
"Please take a moment this holiday weekend amidst the barbecues and mattress sales to remember those who died in service. On Memorial Day, this is the Land of the Free because of The Brave."
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