Photo Credit: "Sexy Legs" by Stacey
As the recession continues to hover over our heads and winter keeps poking us with icy claws, SexyPrime readers seem to be pondering the connection between sex, money and lies. I won’t chastise you for displaying your sexual mercenary side. Most of the human condition could fit into the sex/money/lies category—yes?
Q. “I am seeing a man I know to be wealthy, but he doesn’t spend it on me. We go to moderately-priced restaurants—He never over-tips—and he doesn’t buy me gifts, except flowers occasionally. The sex is good, but I am not as excited about going to bed with him as I was. My girlfriends say bide my time and fake the lust. I know you say, ‘Don’t fake,’ so what should I do—start asking for things?” Jennifer, 36.
A. “Sex and the City” did us all a disservice by presenting an advisory panel of girlfriends as a good thing. Bide your time for what? Fake why? Should you ask for “things?”! How do you plan to do that? Honey, I would get excited about giving you a blow job if you gave me a nice piece of jewelry first? Set your price and be straightforward about it. How much do you think your sexual skills are worth? Attach a monetary value to each of them and hand him the price list. Maybe he won’t mind paying for sex. (Tip: See The Basic Black Dress of Blow Jobs.)
I’ve had rich lovers and poor ones. Sometimes the most generous men have little money. The wealthy, on the other hand, may hold back because they are afraid of being wanted only for their money. It’s a complex subject. By the way, I love flowers. A man who brings flowers charms me. The lavish bar tipper does not impress me—but I never worked as a bartender.
Q. “Why do women always lie about the number of partners they’ve had? My women friends admit their numbers to me but lie to their sex partners. My girlfriend swears I’m only her fourth—but I doubt it. Is there a trick to figuring out how much a woman is lying about her sexual past?” Josh, 34.
A. Women lie because high numbers are still more socially acceptable for men than women. Buy a copy of The Sex Bible for Women as a birthday gift for one (or all) of your gal pals—and read it before wrapping. The studies on how men and women report sexual behavior are fascinating. (Plus you will pick up some good sex tips.)
I don’t believe that any of us owe a new partner the body count. We do owe him or her the truth about exposure to STIs. She may have had 20 disease-free partners and one who exposed her to herpes. You need to know about the one. Use condoms until you are in a committed relationship—and then keep using them until you have both been tested for STIs.
Q. “My brother is twenty years older than I am. Recently divorced, he asks me for ‘dating’ advice. I tell him, ‘Bro, we don’t date.’ He broke it down to the ultimate question, ‘What is the cost of getting laid—and not by a prostitute?’” Kendrick, 29.
A. “I met a 26 year old film producer at a lunch feting author Barry Udall last week. She said, ‘No one dates anymore, so I keep a gaggle of men.’ She doesn’t necessarily have hook-up sex with them, but the gaggle responds to “Let’s meet for a drink” calls. People over 35 may have hook-ups and gaggles of their own, but they still date.
Tell your brother the cost of getting laid varies depending on his socioeconomic status and whether he is looking for a bar bathroom blow job or sex on clean sheets with the possibility of coffee in the morning. Remind him he may not get laid on the first date. Getting the quality woman into her bed or his will cost from $500 to $1.000 on drinks and dinners.
Now tell him to read the first question in this column.
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