The reader is a married man in his forties; and he was married during the affair he describes.
"Do I have any taboos?
"Only as a sort-of mental shopping list for things that I’ve heard or read about but haven’t had an opportunity to try yet. My experience is that kinky is good and sometimes the kinkier the better so don’t rule it out until you’ve tried it and found it un-arousing. Hey, what can I say, bodily fluids used to freak me out a little but I soon learned that a woman isn’t likely gonna swallow your come if you don’t show a willingness to go down on her right after you come inside her and/or deep kiss her while her mouth is still half full. Get over it! It’s a lot less icky than walking a dog in New York City or changing a baby’s diaper.
"Whips? Chains? BDSM? Been there. Done that. Freaked out the dog! And it was perhaps the single most loving, and most sexually intense, relationship I’ve ever had. If she called tonight, I’d probably be on a plane before I stopped to think about whatever work needs to get done soon.
"It started with a mutual admiration for the literary qualities and arousal power of The Story of O and some herbal relaxation of inhibitions. She liked to be spanked (but not with the lack of style that the Zola man seems to exhibit). She asked me to pull her hair while we were fucking. No, harder, really hard! We went shopping in a hardware store and she tried on dog collars in the aisle. We ended up deciding that leather beat metal cuffs for us. She asked me to slap her face while we were going at it, not hard, not to leave marks, just enough to get her off even more than she was already getting off. When she asked me to use my belt, she did want marks on her backside and she wanted me to fuck her from behind while her ass was still burning from the stripes—and she said she loved it that way because it made her feel like I was using her and that got her off even more.
"She liked to please. She liked not having to decide. She liked to suck cock. She liked to take it deep and she liked it when I took control. I hadn’t really ever seen myself as the Master type (and still don’t, really, although I know that I can do it and I know what it can really arouse me) but I do like the woman I’m with to get plenty of whatever gets her off and she got off on submission, some pain and surrender of control and so that’s what I gave her. It turned out that it got me off really well, too, but I think that was as much about seeing her powerful response and feeling a sense of power at being able to take it further and further the more she showed she wanted. She liked being played with, feeling a little used, obeying orders and getting off thereby. I liked fucking her while she was getting off and it was a marvelous mutual feedback arousal and release system while it lasted.
"Was it taboo? It wasn’t like anything else I’d ever done but it evolved completely naturally and it didn’t feel transgressive—although it didn’t strike me as material for casual conversation or revelation. It worked, very well, for both of us and we liked it and we kept wanting more of it.
"It ended for reasons completely unrelated to our physical attraction and activities and I miss her still and I love her still. One of the great regrets of my life.
"Taboo: Causing emotional pain. Hurting the one you love."
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