A lot of questions this week on Christmas gifts! My best advice: Buy my books and go to Babeland for sex toys. If you haven't visited the site lately, you've missed some new luxury vibes. So, shop.
Q. "I broke up with a great guy a few years ago because I thought I was in love with someone else. It didn't work out. I keep thinking about this guy and all the special things he did to my body. He had this move with his tongue, swirling and then reverse swirling. I masturbate thinking about it. I hear he is dating someone, but it's okay to call him isn't it, as long as he's not married?" Christina, 31.
A. Ah, yes, the ex always seem better in retrospect. My pal Dave Bergen has a name for this syndrome: Boomerang Love. He says that several ex-girlfriends have come back after breaking up with him for other men. "It doesn't last long and is never as intense as the first time around," he reports. Dave is exactly the kind of guy that women would remember fondly: sexy, killer blue eyes, funny, sweet. He's the manager at Angelo & Maxie's (Park Ave and 19th). Look him up. Or look for someone like him. Leave the ex alone.
Q. Why is holiday sex so disappointing? We've been married four years and generally the sex is good to great. But it always sucks over the holidays, including New Year's Eve. What's up with that? How can we fix it?" Jennie and Michael, mid-thirties.
A. Drink less? Eat less? Spend less time with your families? Everything that defines the holidays also inhibits sexual expression among the married. But New Year's Eve should be a sexy night if you reign in the alcohol consumption. Otherwise, happy January 2nd. And isn't everything about the holidays ultimately disappointing when you think about it?
Q. I am dating a man who meets all my criteria for a husband. He is handsome, tall, successful, well-mannered and he loves his mother, but not too much. The sex is boring! I don't like the way he kisses or performs cunnilingus--and that is just for starters. Can you teach a man to be a better lover?" Amy, 37.
A. Yes, if he wants to learn. Telling him he needs lessons may not make him amenable to taking them. Suggest that the two of you try some new sex positions and techniques. Bring home a copy of The Sex Bible for Women and share it with him. There are directions for cunnilingus and fellatio (including The Basic Black Dress of Blow Jobs), the basic sex positions with variations--and much more. Always ask for what you want, rather than criticizing what he does.
Take charge of the sex in ways that "teach" him. See directions for The Red Heels Kiss. Instead of telling him, "You don't kiss me the way I like"--take his face in your hands and show him how to do it.
copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime