THE SEX HAPPINESS SURVEY RESULTS, Part One: Happy People Have Oral Lovers; Her Orgasms=Happiness--and Yes, Black Men Do Go Down

 

 

 

Photo Credit:  "Heels" by JTMeg on Photobucket

I couldn’t resist writing a headline that draws sweeping conclusions exactly like the media reports of surveys I usually pan--because I know my readers will get the irony. The overblown media coverage of The Happiness Gap (claiming men are happier than women) inspired me to create a SexyPrime survey on happiness and sex.  Remember:  Surveys are snapshots, not definitive portraits.  This little snapshot is an interesting one of some of my readers--a group who are likely more interested in sex and better at it than the average man or woman.

First, where are the women who castigated me for 7 Questions on His Prime Member?  (Men were fine with 7 Questions Your Prime Member.) Women wanted more relationship-oriented sex questions.  I wrote them. They didn't answer.  The guys did.

Here's the breakdown of survey respondents:

212 men ranging in age from 24 to 68, with 75% between 29 and 44, 55% married or in a relationship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Racial Breakdown:  38% American white, 30% African American, 10% Hispanic American, 10% Asian American, 7% white European, 3% African, 2% Arab

73 women, ranging in age from 20 to 52, with 60% between 29 and 44, 60% married or in a relationship.

Racial breakdown:  70% American white; 18% African American; 8% European, white; mixed race from Caribbean islands, 4%

4 men and 3 women wrote to say:  “I have no sex life.”

One woman cited prolonged illness, another, "marriage".  An estimated 20 million couples under the age of 59 live in sexless marriages.  But that's another survey, not one I want to do

The highlights:

 

• Enthusiastic participation in oral sex and her orgasms (which equated with confidence in erotic skills) were the common threads among the 75% of men and women who rated their sex lives “happy.” 

    
• They reported higher than "average" sexual activity, with 50% (including older respondents) having sex three times a week and another 10% having daily sex.  A 68 year old white widower has sex three times a week--and has had over 300 partners since his wife died five years ago.
•  While fewer women responded, 80% of those who wrote about extramarital affairs were women.
•  Single men were twice as likely as men in relationships to prefer a Blow Job over intercourse.  (Several cited "hating" condoms.)

 

 

 THE MEN'S QUESTIONS

1.   1.  How often do you have sex, including masturbation?

A handful of respondents admitted to having sex only two or three times a month while most fell into the two or three times a week category.

A single black man, 42:  “I rarely have real sex these days.  I masturbate almost daily because I like to come.  If I can’t do it one day, I masturbate multiple times in one day to catch up.”

Single black male, 27:  “I tease myself while masturbating as I go just until the point of ejaculation and then stop--and start again.  I have such a build-up that I shoot a lot of cum.  It’s amazing!”

A 24 year old white newlywed:  "We have sex once every other day, multiple times a day on weekend.  I masturbate when out of town."

 

W   2. When do you prefer a blow job to intercourse?

A single 34 year old black man: "Any time a woman insists on a condom, I prefer a BJ.  I hate intercourse with condom." 

A 40 year old married white man:   "Almost any time I can get it.  I like fucking a lot, but nothing is as good as a BJ."

And a 44 year old married white man:  "I want it all.  Start with oral, switch off, go back and forth until where I end up coming surprises us both.  Switching makes sex last longer."

A 27 year old married Hispanic American:  "It’s never a replacement for intercourse.  I enjoy both, especially if a woman knows what she’s doing.”

A single 35 year old Hispanic American:  “It depends on the girl.  If she is passive, I love intercourse and just being on top and in her.  If she lets her kinky side out, BJ."

3.  3. How often does your partner give you what you want and need?

Overwhelmingly, you said:  Most of the time.

A 42 year old black single male:  “Of late my partners always do what I want.  They are online hook-ups where we are both trying to please one another."

 

4.  4. How much do you enjoy performing cunnilingus—and does she come this way?

 75% said they enjoy it very much.  Black men, single and married, were the most enthusiastic.  (Another myth busted here on SexyPrime.)  Among the 25% who were said "not much" or "not at all"--there was more concern about her orgasms and their erotic skills.  (One man said, "I don't mind it so much"--and maybe that explains why he also isn't sure if his partner comes or not.)

A 40 year old married black man:  “I eat pussy and I try to be in tune to what her body is telling me.  I listen and am open and will do whatever she needs me to do to make her cum." 

 A 29 year old married black man:  ”I love performing it very much.  If a woman comes before intercourse, it turns her on more.  My lovely lady always comes when I go down on her.”

Not surprisingly, they reported that their partners always or usually reach orgasm by cunnilingus--often multiple times.   A 55 year old white married man, one of my favorite respondents, said, "I am proud to be a Cunnilinguist!  I love pleasuring her pussy." 

Some men, like this 24 year old white married man, said their partners didn't like or weren't comfortable with cunnilingus.  He said:  "She gets uncomfortable about me doing this.  Sometimes she gets close to coming and I wish she would let me go on." 

 

5.  5. Is anal intercourse at the top of your sexual wish list, and, if not, what is?

Anal intercourse topped the wish list for 65% of the men.  20% said "experimenting with something new."

A 40 year old single black man:  “I find it nasty when it’s spontaneous.  When you plan for it with all the prep that needs to be done to make it clean—all the fun goes out of the act.”

A 37 year old single black man:  "Oh, yes  it is a joy to do." 

A 31 year old married Asian man:  "NO.  Getting my wife to experience a orgasm-- and then more than one.  That is my wish list."

 

6.  6. What does she do to drive you wild?

Dirty talk, text messages and the use of fingernails topped the list--but what a great variety of answers!  Some were obvious--"Swallow my cum"; "Lick my ass"--while others were unique.  I love this one: "Her special BJ.  She starts out slow, rubbing my cock on her face, getting into it with her mouth and tongue very slowly as she runs her fingernails up and down my thighs."  

A 40 year old white husband:  "She exhibits a high degree of emotional surrender/submission."

6. Are you confident in your erotic skills and happy with your sex life?

Only 25% of the men said they were not happy (or very happy) with their sex lives.  Most qualified by explaining they didn't have a regular partner or weren't meeting the right women, like this man:

A 36 year old single black man:  “I am confident when I have a good fit.  But I am feeling sensual these days and I’m meeting women who want to get pounded.  My sex life is not as good as it could be, but I can’t complain."

I like the man who said, "I'm good, but the skills can always be improved" and the 50 year old white husband who said, “I am always reading and watching educational videos because there is always someone with a good idea or a better way.  Open mind is key!"

A 24 year old Indian American said:  "We married as virgins last year.  We're figuring it out.  As far as happiness goes, I think we are.  I focus on the communication and physical affection."

PART TWO:  HER SEX HAPPINESS SURVEY RESULTS THIS WEEKEND

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