Photo Credit: "Phallic Symbol" by Irene Ridgeley on Photobucket
Where are all those men supposedly insecure about their penises? I didn’t find them.
Men love their own cocks; and I love men (and their cocks).
Ask men to answer seven somewhat frivolous questions about their prime members and they do so with wit, intelligence and style—and no lectures on how sexual objectification isn’t any prettier when we do it to them.
Men get it. We are all (if we’re lucky) objects of desire. They are remarkably adept at focusing on our best physical features and turning them into objects of erotic worship. I’ve yet to meet a man who minded having his penis treated the same way.
116 men answered the 7 Questions—a good response from a quick post. 52 of them are on my private list: interview files, guy pals, and new Facebook contacts. I know their age, race, marital status, educations/professions, employment histories. The other 64 men? I only know what they told me in 7 answers.
*A caveat about surveys, polls and surveys/polls classified as “behavioral studies”: They are snapshots of a group of people at a moment in time. A true research study meets scientific protocol requirements, including random population sampling and a compilation of personal information about each person being studied. Sex research is rarely so well funded that we know all that--not on a large scale since Alfred Kinsey who interviewed men and women in the late 40s and into the 50s.
Because I know so much more about one group than the other, I feel like I’m holding two snapshots in my hands.
The results (with lots of quotes because the guys gave great quote):
#1: THE MYTH OF THE BIG BLACK PENIS
Yes, it is a myth.
Suggested cultural reading:
In Hung: A Meditation on the Measure of Black Men in America, author Scott Poulson-Bryant takes on that myth. An openly gay pop culture journalist, he traces the history of the “big black dick” through slavery to modern times—in a book that has the best chapter titles ever. “The Long and the Short of it”, “That’s The Way The Balls Bounce”, “How Is It Hanging, Hollywood?”…
For more literate tastes, Frantz Fanon’s classic work, Black Skin, White Masks, published in 1952, is still relevant for Fanon’s analysis of the psychological impact on black men of the myth born when European explorers came back from Africa with tales of natives bearing giant members.
38 said Yes, black men have bigger cocks than white men; 78 said No.
Of the smaller group, the 52 I know better, 19 black men and 4 white said Yes; 8 black men and 21 white said No.
White: “I go to the nude beach and it appears in the soft state that they do. Hard, I have no idea.”
Black: “Not really—seems more like a myth, such as black men being BORN better basketball players than white men.”
White: “For fantasy purposes, the myth serves but all the research evidence indicates that black men have the same range of size as white men.”
Black: “No! I am a male nurse with twenty years experience, including a decade in Veterans Hospitals. Black men talk that superior size shit up.”
My guess? Black men are more likely to buy into the myth than white men are. The white guys have replaced tales of big African members with The Kinsey Report.
- The Kinsey data, which remains the most exhaustive study on penis size to date, says that the average white male has a penis measuring 6.2 inches long and 3.7 inches around whereas the average black male has a penis 6.3 by 3.8—for a difference of 0.1 inches. Not statistically significant.
You can find a ton of studies on this or any subject, including one done somewhere by someone who says exactly what you want to read. However, no credible authority gives the black penis more than a fraction of an inch edge over its white counterpart. (Check out the Sex Project for more myths.)
- Furthermore, reliable research from Masters and Johnson and others tell us that the larger the penis, the less it expands with erection, growing by percentage less than a smaller penis does. There is less difference in the size of erect cocks than many men like to think. (Women reinforce that myth by saying, “OH, yes, you are the Big One.”)
#2 PENIS ENVY?
“Isn’t that for women?” one man responded.
“I’m a little envious of my penis, what a great life he’s got,” another wrote. “Just hanging around all day with two of his best buddies.”
14 men out of 116 (and 2 out of 52) said they had experienced penis envy—and always while watching porn!
- Obviously porn actors are hired because they’re bigger than most men. Also, camera angles make penises appear larger than they actually are. I’ve been on porn sets.
#3. IT’S SPECIAL BECAUSE IT’S MINE
“We’ve had some good times together.”
“Women say it’s just right and tastes good.”
“In my 40s, I get as hard as I did in my 20s. That’s special.”
“It gets to run my life.”
No special claims made by this group.
#4 & #5. AS LONG AS IT ISN’T VERY SMALL….
“Anything that isn’t very small is likely to be very satisfying to most women if properly and effectively applied. Technique and enthusiasm overcome mere size.”
"If women can fake orgasms and lie about infidelity, what else can they lie about? Women do lie about size primarily so they can inflate a man's soft ego which they treat like a child's baloon."
101 men (47 of the smaller group) said that size would not be an issue for women as long as it is within normal range.
“There are size queens, but they are probably happy with the big side of average. I have a lot of women friends and none who want to do it with Ron Jeremy.”
But 82 men (27 in the smaller group) said women do lie about size—mostly by telling them how much more well-endowed they are than other men.
“I am on the small side. If a woman says, ‘You’re so big,’ I laugh at her.”
And a black man wrote, “White women always tell me I’m bigger than white men. I know they think I want to hear that.”
“The truth comes out when you’re breaking up and she wants to hurt you and says, ‘It is smaller than average and it DOES matter!’”
#6. YOU CAN’T SELL THESE GUYS THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE
“I used to debate getting one of those penis pumps but I never got around to it.”
Only 4 men have tried penis enlargement products.
One wrote, “As a white guy, I must be the prime target for this stuff, huh? I did try the pills. They were expensive and I didn’t grow a fraction of an inch. I didn’t even get good erections while I was taking them.”
From a white man in his 20s: “Viagra, amazing. Absolutely It was like my penis was on steroids. I mean we both got so tired and winded that we had to stop which is when it started hurting. A lot. Then the crying for it to go down. Not good at all.”
"Does Rize2 count? I know it's not exactly a penis enlarger. It worked like hell, too!"
And, “Now that I’m older and wiser, I’ve come to really love my chocolate pecker. Yeah, I bought into the whole ‘male enhancement’ thing in the past. I tried Extenze for a while. Honestly, it didn’t make any difference. My problem at the time was that I was so friggin’ overweight and out of shape that it was adversely affecting my sexual performance. Once I realized that I had to start taking care of my entire body, not just my penis, with a healthy diet and exercise, then things started really turning around. I got my Mojo back….”
(Judging from photos, he does look fantastic. I’m saving his great advice on making love to a woman’s clitoris for an upcoming 7 Questions on Oral Sex.)
#7. DICK-MATIZED? OH, HOW I WISH!
“Dick-matized by my cock? Hell, yes, a lot of women. If you don’t believe me, you should check my email in-box in the morning. I have about 50 emails from different women saying how much they want my cock. Then they want my credit card info, but, hey, that’s totally fine by me.”
Only 12 men claim to have dick-matized a woman with their prime members--with another 68 saying they wish or "wouldn't mind if" it would happen to them.
This is my favorite story, from a man in his 20s, mostly because I know he will one day regret not appreciating this experience at the time:
“My assistant at my former job LOVED my dick. She would always tell me how it smelled nice and how she loved to suck it and how she wanted it to come all over her face. Whenever we were alone in my office, she would drop to her knees and suck it off. But I don’t know if she was dick-matized. She was just a freak who loved to suck dick and had fantasies about fucking her boss. Wouldn’t you agree?”
No. I think she was dick-matized. She loved your dick, Baby, not you.
copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime