In "What's Up With The Cougar Thing" the first of two (maybe more) interviews with my pal Alex Zola --I admit the truth. Younger men have harder cocks.
Here is the interview in its entirety:
Over the course of five interviews, first published on SexyPrime and then re-posted here and on OpenSalon, my life, such as it stands, was examined or autopsied if you have a cynical bent, by Susan Crain Bakos. Now, in a wonderful show that Karma does exist and yes, it does have a sense of irony, I got Susan, dear family friend, my Auntie Mame and my Torquemada all wrapped into one, to sit down and allow me to interview her.
The subject for this interview is the rise of the Cougar phenomenon and why she only likes to date younger men. We’ll see if we can’t get her on that reality TV show after all.
Q. You’ve told me several times over the years you would never date anyone younger than me. Why the change of heart?
A. That’s not my fault, Alex. It was ten years ago. You’ve aged. I don’t go looking for men of a certain age, they come after me. Half of my Facebook friends are wanna be boy toys. Today I got an e-mail from one saying ‘I want to experience your experienced vagina.’ It’s not a very good line and it’s not getting him anywhere but I found it kind of amusing.
Q. Actually, I think that line is pathetic. It’s a kind of Facebook version of hey baby, what’s your sign. How often do you hear younger men use lines like that?
A. First, I don’t think it’s a pathetic line. Lame, not pathetic. A pathetic line is delivered by a man who knows you don’t want him and he is resentful and his resentment just bubbles up.
Q. Is it only younger men that come on to you?
A. Mostly. It’s rare that I attract men my age. It’s been that way for years.
Q. You’ve sat at several of the bars I have worked over the course of the years and I watched younger men over look younger, more beautiful women to hit on you. Frankly, it amuses the hell out me. However I can never figure out why they walk past the bleach blondes.
A. It’s a positive attitude about sexuality. Men respond to that energy. It makes them feel more comfortable with their sexuality.
Q. I know one young man who was utterly horrified of you and your openness when it comes to sexuality. At a dinner party we attended, He actually had to leave the table when you and another woman were discussing the new sex toys available. While turning beet red, he demanded you call them marital aides and ran away.
A. Neither one of us were married. All of this from a discussion of the viability of new vibes in the marketplace. (laughs) It wasn’t like I was describing masturbation sessions.
Q. Ok, that begs the question: why younger men?
A. Ok, let’s take on the stereotype: the cougar pays most of the young man’s bills, serves as a mentor and has most of the power. My boy toys are accomplished, interesting men in fields not my own. I don’t mentor them and they pay. I don’t pay for men; men pay for me.
My first cougar love experience was with a man named Jack who used to joke he was more mature than I was. He definitely took care of me on many levels and I wrote about his penis in an article for Penthouse. It was re-printed around the world.
Q. You avoided the question. So again, I ask: why younger men?
A. Hard cocks.
Q. (Zola laughing)
A. Come on Alex, how long have you known me? You know the one man my age I have seen in the last decade possessed an exceptionally fine cock. He played tennis several times a week. The cock is all about blood flow. I worship the cock. Nothing relieves stress like sucking one. I was totally dick-matized by this particular man.
Q. Ok, I’ll play along. If it’s all about the cock, why do you only hang out with accomplished men?
A. It’s a good question. Men have to be smart. If they are stupid, I’m not getting to the cock. Men have to be smart and interesting to engage me in conversation. The cock is an extension of all they are. If he’s not a wonderful, smart, interesting man, I’m not getting to the cock. I will not go there.
Q. So it’s the cock then?
A. The cock leads the way for these guys. They’re dominant because the cock leads them; and I like my men to be dominant in bed. Not in a BDSM way, just a take charge kind of way. As men get older and lose confidence in their cocks, they become less dominant. Some women find that endearing.
Q. It freaks a lot of younger women out when their men are in charge in the bedroom.
A. They aren’t completely comfortable the male/female sexual dynamic. They can’t separate the daily life competition at work with the nighttime–I want this guy to ravish me. Because some women aren’t yet comfortable in their sexual skins, they have difficulty with men who are comfortable in theirs. The strong, sexual self-confidence of the younger male can seem overbearing. I find it very appealing.
Q. What does the cub get from the cougar?
A. Sexual confidence, sexual expertise and no pressure. They can have an affectionate relationship and hot sex without all the relationship talks via text messages. Girls are always telling me that they ask guys “Where is this going” after a few dates.
Q. Really– because my cougar sent me long, odd e-mails demanding to know what I was doing and why I acted a certain way.
A. Your cougar was a therapist. She was crazy. I just call my boy toy and say, “Can I come over and suck your cock?”
Next week, race and sex.
copyright 2008-2011, www.sexyprime.typepad.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to original article on SexyPrime