"Men need to wear better skivvies. I've seen too many boxers and white briefs. If a man isn't adventurous, he can buy Calvin Klein black boxer briefs--simple and sexy," Palagia.
I spent an afternoon this week drinking wine with Palagia on the terrace of her apartment in the heart of Chelsea. A mild late August day, chilled crisp wine, eclectic Bohemian surroundings--rouge-hued torsos, lush plants, a green toilet turned planter--and good conversation about one of our favorite subjects, sex. I love women who champion female sexual empowerment. A vibrant, intelligent and glamorous woman, Palagia does it with panache.
(Photo by John Bentham)
You have to admire the creative chutzpa of a woman whose business began as a "fund-raiser for myself.
"Ten years ago I was teaching in the New York City school system, making $28,000 a year, and on the verge of being evicted from my apartment. I threw my first party, Falling Out Of The Garden Of Eden. It was such a huge success--theatrically, erotically, financially for me-- that my friends asked me to host more erotic parties. That's how One Leg Up got started."
One Leg Up--approaching its first decade--is a floating sensual country club with monthly events for members, an international private list of couples and "single ladies." No, she doesn't host swinger parties. Comparing a One Leg Up "Take Out" or "Eat In" event to that is like describing fine dining as street cart fare.
"I've been to swinger parties--and they're boring," she says. "A lot of the people who attend them are vultures." She adds, "'Swinger' is a word that exists only in America. In Europe and the rest of the world, people have sex outside their relationships in group settings, but they don't call it 'swinging.'"
Palagia stages erotic theatrical events, like the recent "Pirates on the Hudson," an eat-in soiree on a sailboat. Participants get the details--like when and where to meet--two days before the party. Costumes are required. And at some point in the evening, everyone must strip down to their undies. It's the democratic thing to do.
"When the clothes come off, so do the job, the status, the pretensions."
"Playing" is optional, not required, at the eat-ins, limited to 80 people, but not encouraged beyond kissing at "take outs," up to 200 people. "No" always means "No," not "Maybe."
"Women need to feel safe to explore fantasy and expand their boundaries in a private setting," she says. "The sense of anticipation leading up to our events and the costumes, the theatrical elements, create an atmosphere of sensual and luxurious eroticism that appeals to women. They want to go to a party where they can walk around in their undies, feel safe and explore."
What changes has she seen in sexual behavior in One Leg Up's first decade?
"Sex is mainstream. It has lost is underground edge. Kink is 'vanilla' now. It takes years for some people to walk through the door into sexual adventure. But they've done it; they're doing it. My clientele includes a lot of very wealthy people, but their sexual behavior is mainstream.
"In the early days when I was throwing private parties, I could be wilder."
[Click on the link above and check out the beautiful photographic book chronicling some of One Leg Up's events. The photos were all shot by John Bentham; and he is an amazing photographer.]
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