According to the current issue of New York magazine, over 28% of New York men have been unfaithful while only 12% of women have been. Really?
First, the numbers are fairly low, with most sexual behavior surveys reporting more infidelity--and more equality in infidelity today. I haven't seen a survey that showed male cheating outpacing female by this great a percentage in a few years.
Second, how many committed couples, married or otherwise, live in New York City anyway?
But I love reading sex surveys, even if I don't entirely trust their conclusions. It's like eating M&Ms. Pure fun. This one has some interesting comments from the cheating and the cheated upon. Read it!
Speaking of comments, I've been getting mail from blog readers who choose to email me rather than post. I wish they would post. One woman's story in particular would interest everyone. She talks about her unhappiness with her married sex life, confesses her brief fling with a pro football player--and confides her desire to leave the marriage for a hotter sex life.
Alas, as the experts quoted in the New York magazine story conclude: Marriage can be satisfying and emotionally, not to mention financially, rewarding...but it cannot be a lifetime of hot sex. Remember that book, Hot Monogamy? It was a big fat lie. You can have periods of "hot" in your monogamy. But year after year of riding continuous waves of bliss? I don't think so.
Few couples live happily ever after in a state of pure monogamy. Rather, they are serial monogamists, with a side order of infidelity. (I'm paraphrasing a quote from the great sexual anthropologist, Dr. Helen Fisher.)
Personally, I am at the point in my life where I would be happy with one good lover who doesn't drive me crazy--because multiple men are time-consuming. (So much changing of the sheets etc.)
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